#trust – Tattoos, Motorcycles, Beer, Bourbon and Faith

Fear

What is fear? The Merriam Webster Dictionary defines it as follows. As a noun: 1a: an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger, b(1): an instance of this emotion, (2): a state marked by this emotion, 2: anxious concern : SOLICITUDE, 3: profound reverence and awe especially toward God. And then also as a transitive verb: 1: to be afraid of : expect with alarm, fear the worst, 2: to have a reverential awe of, fear God, 3 archaic : FRIGHTEN, 4 archaic : to feel fear in (oneself). And finally, as an intransitive verb: to be afraid or apprehensive.

Fear can take the shape of many things. Some people fear dogs, others fear confined places. Some people have a fear of heights, some have a fear of water, others fear flying. There is fear of snakes, fear of spiders, fear of failure, fear of loss, fear of germs, and the list goes on and on. There are so many fears that they are categorized as phobias.

According to the American Psychiatric Association (APA), there are three different categories of phobias: Social phobias: these are also known as social anxiety disorder. This is a fear of social situations that makes one nervous. Agoraphobia: involves an irrational and extreme fear of being in places where it may be difficult to escape. It can involve a fear of crowded places or even of leaving your home. Specific phobias: fear of a specific object such as snakes, spiders, or needles, etc.

I googled fears and discovered there are so many fears that have been identified as phobias, it would be impossible to list them all. I had no idea there was a fear of buttons…buttons of all things. This is called koumpounophobia. There are also fears of colors, specifically black, white and purple, each with their own specific name. (I know black and white aren’t technically colors, but the absence of or culmination of color). There is also the fear of long words, called Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobis.

We all have fears. Some are rational. Some are irrational. And sometimes, we take steps to conquer our fears. Fear can help you move forward or hold you back depending on how you approach it.

At one point, I thought I had a fear of heights. But, in reality, its not really a fear of heights, but rather, a fear of falling. Basophobia is the fear of falling and is relatively common among both humans and mammals. I had the opportunity this past week to work on conquering that fear as my husband and I ascended Dragons Tooth on the AT.

We did some research on the trail and learned that All Trails rated it as Hard/Challenging. We also learned that it was a steep incline with an elevation gain of approximately 1,200 feet. We learned that we should bring ample water (I always have water for my hikes), and that there were steep scrambles to get to the top. But the view was worth it.

We had hiked McAfee Knob the day before. At approximately 8 miles, with an 1,800 foot elevation gain, listed at moderately challenging, I thought it was good preparation for Dragon’s Tooth. I was mistaken.

The entire approach trail for Dragon’s Tooth was a gradual, but steep incline. Then we hit a clearing at Lost Spectacles Gap, where we connected to the AT. I don’t think we were 100 yards in on the AT before the rocks appeared. The higher we got, the more difficult the trail. The last ¾ miles seemed to be a near vertical incline which required scrambling and a little rock climbing. At some point they installed some metal rungs to aid with the ascent.

No fewer than a dozen times was I certain that I would plummet to my death. My husband, on the other hand, relished this adventure. As a former rock climber, he was reliving his heyday. I was simply hanging on for dear life, reminding myself that I could do this, and the view would be phenomenal.

Fortunately, my husband was patient with my Katz-like pace (if you don’t know what that means, read or watch a Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson). We made it to the top in approximately 2 hours, which was quite an accomplishment in my opinion. And the view was worth it!

We were the only ones at the top and spent about an hour exploring and eating our lunch (keep in mind it was only 9am at the time). As we descended, we past several groups of hikers, including a middle aged couple who looked like they just stepped out of a fitness magazine, a group of older women complete with trekking poles and enthusiasm, who were quickly losing their “shine” as they approached the rocky inclines, another 30-something couple who had no water with them, and a young family who thought that hiking this trail with an infant and two toddlers sounded like a good idea.

At the trail head, you’re fearless, ready for the adventure, prepared to kick the trails ass. I am sure each hiker approached the trail with the same enthusiasm, and naivety as I did, truly thinking “how bad could it be”. And while it wasn’t horrible, it was definitely challenging and a bit intimidating for me at some points (particularly the sheer rock face I had to climb up and down). In the end, however, I conquered those fears (without a meltdown, I might add). And it was worth it.

While fear is typically viewed as a negative concept, it isn’t always negative. Fear is a valuable tool if you use it to your advantage and don’t allow it to control you. Fear of God, however, is the most valuable (go back and read that definition of fear at the beginning). Because that fear is not about being afraid, it’s about respect and trust.

The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, that one may avoid the snares of death. – Proverbs 14:27

I think part of conquering my fears on the Dragon’s Tooth trail were because of my fear of God. I was truly in awe of God and His creation (that’s fear of the Lord, too). I knew if I trusted where I was, who I was with, and took my time, I would be okay. I would not be abandoned on the sheer rock face. But be assured, there were multiple moments where I was praying. Like it says in Proverbs 14:27, The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, that one may avoid the snares of death.

So today, conquer your fears and cultivate your fear of the Lord. And today, please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.

Darkness

A few weeks ago, I had to drive to Columbus for my regular follow-up appointment and mammogram. The mammogram was among the first ones scheduled that morning and I needed to arrive by 7:30am. It is roughly a 2.5 to 3-hour drive, depending on the traffic.

I left the house well before sunrise, to allow myself plenty of time to get there without undue stress. I am always concerned about encountering deer and wildlife on my drives to Columbus because I prefer to travel the more rural routes and avoid the highways.

While I have had my share of encounters with deer, coyotes, wild turkeys, squirrels, chipmunks, various birds, and turkey vultures, I would choose to deal with them any day over the absentminded, incompetent drivers who travel State Route 70. Although I have never hit a deer, I did have one run into the side of my vehicle, and I have had a turkey vulture fly directly into my grill. (That was fun!) I have seen coyotes up close, in some near misses, and constantly swerve to miss squirrels who have made poor judgment calls on their ability to cross the road.

Even with all of these near misses, it is still the other drivers that concern me the most. It seems like everyone has lost common sense and their ability to drive, or even the ability to practice common courtesy when on Route 70. I am certain that 70 is a corridor on the highway to hell.

That morning, it was dark. There is a saying, “It’s always darkest before the dawn.” Whoever coined that phrase was not kidding. It was pitch black that morning just before the break of dawn. I could see very little in front of me even with the high beams on. When I had to turn them off because of approaching vehicles, I could see even less. The darkness obscured everything.

Everybody experiences dark periods throughout their lives. It is inevitable. We are human and we deal with human emotions, struggles of the world, sadness, despair, and darkness. We can be plagued by illness, death, loss, and sadness. As I drove, I thought about these very things.

In these times of obscurity, when the light is dim, it may seem like God is distant, far from us, removed from our lives. However, the moments of our lives that seem bleakest are actually when God is closest to us. But sometimes we are so lost in the blackness that we can’t see Him. We become so enveloped in the despair that we can’t feel Him. We are so deafened by the noisy chaos that we can’t hear Him. The darkness indeed obscures everything.

When I begin to feel overpowered by despair, I remember Job. He was tested. He lost his possessions, his property, and his family. He was afflicted with pain and suffering in his body. His wife and friends rebuked and chastised him. Although Job grows bitter and desperate, “My days have passed, my plans are shattered.” – Job 17:11a, he still seeks God. “Yet the desires of my heart turn night into day; in the face of the darkness light is near.” – Job 17:11b-12. We can learn a lot from Job, from pondering the darkness and the light. The whole book demonstrates the struggle between light and dark, despair and hope, fear and trust.

“My days have passed, my plans are shattered. Yet the desires of my heart turn night into day; in the face of the darkness light is near.”
Job 17:11-12

As I continued to make that morning drive, dawn began to break and things that were once hidden came to view. I drove through the darkness into the light. This was not the first time I have done that, literally or figuratively. But it was beautiful, nonetheless. It is amazing what the light can do.

If you are going through a dark time, remember, no matter how dark it might seem, “A light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it.” – John 1:5. I will continue to pray for you. And today, please say an extra prayer for me.

Suffering and Blessings

Today marks the celebration of my one-month sabbatical. I have been separated from employment for four weeks. We will leave it at that. Sometimes things just don’t work out. Your employment relationship is just like any other relationship. And some relationships just don’t work out. I am fortunate to find out early in this relationship that it wasn’t meant to be.

Surprisingly, this separation has been quite peaceful. I have spent the days hiking, backpacking, fishing, kayaking, cooking, baking, tending my garden, walking my dogs, praying, attending morning mass a few times a week, and having great adventures with my husband. Surprisingly, my blood pressure is down, and my sleep has drastically improved. I could have looked at this change as a curse, a cause of suffering because, let’s be honest, I am unemployed. Unemployment is not something that people celebrate. It is not something that you proudly announce.

However, in morning mass last Monday morning, Fr. Dan, a visiting priest, gave a great homily about suffering and blessings. I could not help but reflect on my current situation. I could look at this unemployment from a negative perspective and call it suffering. But if I am being honest, I had been praying for some kind of change in my circumstance before this happened.

Catholic Daily Reading – Monday June 12, 2023

Readings from Monday’s mass

While I thought I was happy and fulfilled at work, I really wasn’t. I mean, I really appreciated my staff, and we had a great working relationship, but beyond that, things were challenging. I was working 40 hours in the office, as well as averaging an additional 5-8 hours per week working from home answering phone calls and responding to emails, text messages, and group chats. And that did not include the extra stuff, events, late meetings, conference calls, etc. The work/life balance was not there. And this is what I was praying about; I had been praying for a change. I just did not know what that change would be.

Sometimes suffering and blessing can be the same thing. — Photo by Anna Tarazevich on Pexels.com

God certainly does answer prayers in his own way. His way of answering my prayer was by changing my circumstance. When you put things into God’s hands, you are often times surprised by how He responds. I went from a 50+ hour work week to complete free time, or complete freedom as I like to look at it. I did not know that’s how my prayer would be answered.

Yes, I have some concerns about where I am going next, but I am not in any rush to get there. I really have decided to turn everything over to God and let Him truly direct my path. Fortunately, I am able to do this because my husband is entirely supportive of taking this journey in this manner and walking this road with me. Funny how God provides exactly what you need when you need it.

This employment separation is truly a blessing, not suffering. It has truly been an answer to my prayers. The most ironic thing, (as I alluded to earlier) is that I have been happier, healthier, and sleeping so much better since we went our separate ways.

So today, share your concerns with God. Turn everything over to Him. I can guarantee you will be surprised by how He responds. And if you trust Him, He will lead you somewhere beautiful. So today, please pray for me, particularly to have patience and trust God’s plan for my life, and I will continue to pray for you.

Peace Be with You

As we approach Easter Sunday, I have been looking at the different readings and gospels that are coming up. The second Sunday of Easter always features the gospel reading from John 20: 19-31.

A few years ago, we went into lockdown due to the COVID pandemic. It happened during the Lenten Season, around the 15th of March 2020. No one would have predicted that we would still feel the aftershock three years later. While we experienced various stages of lockdown, quarantine, remote learning, and telework options, during that time, I also gained a new perspective in looking at the Gospel of John 20:19-31.

The opening passage states, “On the evening of that day, the first day of the week, the doors being locked where the disciples were for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.” The apostles are in what seems to be a fearful and impossible situation. In that very instance, what did Jesus do for them? He gave them His presence. “He came and stood among them.” And He gave them His peace. Not once, but two times He said, “Peace be with you.”

Jesus wanted to be sure that the disciples knew that it was, in fact, He who was with them. He showed them the unmistakable evidence of not only His crucifixion but also His resurrection. “He showed them His hands and His side.”

During this appearance, Jesus renewed His disciples, giving them courage and a strong sense of purpose. He brought them peace, stating once again, “Peace be with you.” And he gave them their calling; “As the Father has sent me, even so, I am sending you.” Then He breathed on them, saying, “Receive the Holy Spirit.” Jesus then gave them power and authority, stating, “If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, they are withheld.”

As Christians, we must be strong in our witness for Christ, in sharing His teachings and preaching His Gospel. We must be able to advocate for authentic biblical, Christian faith in the midst of all that is occurring in our broken world; we need the same gifts that Jesus gave to his disciples. We need Christ’s presence and His peace. We need the unmistakable evidence of His death and resurrection for our very salvation. We need a renewed sense of purpose, calling, the Holy Spirit, and His authority.

When the disciples see Jesus Christ risen from the dead, their hope is restored, and they have the courage and strength to face all of the challenges that lie ahead, defending their belief and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and spreading his message of peace, hope, and love to others.

Not only in the season of Easter but every single day, Jesus offers all those very same gifts to us. All we have to do is accept what He wants to give us freely. Will you accept all of the gifts and blessings that God has for you?

So today, remember that Jesus is with you always. Be open to accepting the peace He wants to give you. Allow Him to strengthen you, especially if you are going through a time of struggle or uncertainty. Turn to Him; He will renew you. He will give you courage and sense of purpose. Remember that you are a child of God and are loved beyond measure; there is a purpose for your life, for your pain, for your suffering. God uses everything…everything. And today, please pray for me, and I will continue to pray for you.

40 Years – St. John of God

I am constantly amazed that it took me over forty years to really discover God, to embrace my faith, and to realize the power of prayer. Over forty years. (Makes me think of Moses.) That’s essentially half of my lifetime.

I often think about what I was doing for that first half of my life, how I was living, how I treated people, what my thoughts were, what I believed, and what I didn’t believe, and I wonder why it took God so long to open my eyes. Then today, I read about St. John of God. Today is his memorial.

As a child, John was kidnapped (or ran away from home, depending on which text you read). He was at one time homeless, became a shepherd, then served in the army. In his early life, St. John of God turned away from the Lord, but he returned to God and received God’s mercy in his forties. The closing line of a reflection that I read about St. John of God is as follows; “He saw that in his early life, he had turned away from the Lord, and, moved to receive his mercy, John began his new commitment to love others in openness to God’s love.” St. John of God is the patron saint of Booksellers, Firefighters, Heart Patients, Hospitals, Nurses, Printers, and the Sick.

“He saw that in his early life, he had turned away from the Lord, and, moved to receive his mercy, John began his new commitment to love others in openness to God’s love.”
Reflection about St. John of God

Again, I am amazed at how God speaks to me in ways that He probably has all along, but I have been too distracted to hear Him. I have been thinking quite a bit about how long it has taken me to dig more deeply into my faith and wondering why it has taken so long for that journey to begin. And then I read about St. John of God and the fact that he was 40 when he returned to God.

Live in faith and hope, though it be in darkness, for in this darkness God protects the soul. Cast your care upon God for you are His and He will not forget you. Do not think that He is leaving you alone, for that would be to wrong Him.
John of the Cross

What I am realizing through all of this is that: 1. it is never too late to begin your journey of faith, 2. it doesn’t matter what your past has been like; God is waiting for you to return to Him, 3. you have to be open to God in order to hear Him, 4. prayer is very powerful, and you don’t realize how powerful until you actually start praying, 5. everything happens in God’s time, not ours.

In sorrow and suffering, go straight to God with confidence, and you will be strengthened, enlightened and instructed.
John of the Cross

No matter where you are on your journey of faith, maybe you haven’t even begun; just remember, it is never too late. God is waiting for you to reach out to Him, to talk to Him, and to listen to Him…whenever you are ready.

So today, reach out and be open to having God in your life. And today, please pray for me, and I will continue to pray for you.

Taken for Granted

Anyone who knows me well knows that a daily workout is a serious part of my life. In fact, my husband can tell the days that I do not workout. I am much grouchier on those days. This is true. I know that and I accept that and I try desperately to work out every day. It is just good for my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. And it is just good for the general well-being of others who have to deal with me.

Unfortunately, shoulder surgery has ground my exercise routine to a screeching halt. There is little I can do, other than walk. Depending on the speed and incline, that can even be a challenge. I have started PT, which is primarily assisted PT, but have been told it will be quite some time before I am cleared for other exercises (ie. weight training). Insert big sigh here.

I have lost quite a bit of muscle since surgery

And while my exercise has suffered these last few weeks, my prayer life has flourished. I have had ample time to talk with God, and on some occasions, I may have yelled at Him. My day starts with the Bible app, including the verse of the day and a guided prayer. It continues with reading portions of the bible then a devotional reading (I am currently doing a 21-day devotional on Psalm 91). At one point in my life, I did attend daily morning mass. My current job does not permit that, but does allow me to participate in morning prayer. However, as I am recovering, I am working remotely. I am not permitted to drive while arm is in the sling. Then throughout the day, it may include a rosary, the divine mercy chaplet, and other prayers. But those aren’t always part of my day.

I was reading a reflection that talks about how we take so much in our lives for granted, that we forget to thank God for the little things. Like the ability to work out, a run in the crisp air right before dawn, a walk through nature, watching the sunrise, spending time with our spouse, our families, our friends. But we also take our faith for granted. The things that we think will always be readily available to us.

Hiking/backpacking is one of my favorite activities

We need to thank God for those things because we may not always be able to work out, run or walk. Someday, we may lose our eyesight. Our spouse, our families, and our friends may not always be around. And our faith is just something that I think we tend to forget about or overlook. I often treat my faith as an afterthought. We fail to attend mass because we’re tired or don’t care for the priest, or don’t want to be bothered. Or maybe we don’t go because we are mad at the Catholic Church (this has happened a lot lately and this is when we need to pray the most). We don’t pray because we don’t have time or don’t think God really hears us. When we do this, when we make excuses; we take our faith for granted. We don’t feed it; we don’t give it an opportunity to grow. And that is really when we need prayer the most.

Looking forward to the backpacking adventures that await us in 2023

It spoke to me because I do take all of those things for granted. I expect to come home everyday and work out. I expect to be able to run on the treadmill whenever I feel so inspired, or take the dogs for walk at a whim. I expect to see the sunrise each morning. I expect that my husband will be there to go on adventures with me. I expect that my family will always be around and that my friends will be available when I most need them. And I expect God to be there always, even when I haven’t talked to him in a very long time. And even though I take my faith for granted, the really beautiful thing is that God will always be there. Especially when we think He isn’t.

So today take time to thank God, be grateful for everything in your life and don’t take anything for granted. And today, please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.

Brave and Crazy

I have been reading the Gospel according to Mark this past week. If you read Mark with no background information about Jesus, or even if you do know that background, you might actually think that Jesus is out of his mind. I mean, let’s be honest, Jesus can come across as a little crazy, right? I am sure the people who witnessed the actions of Jesus and the events of the day might have thought that Jesus was crazy.

He is a man who is performing amazing miracles. He is healing the lame, he is driving out demons, he is challenging Pharisees, he is rebelling against the traditional view of the Sabbath, he is talking in parables, he is bringing the dead back to life, he is feeding the masses. And he is being challenged by others about all of these things, yet he never backs down. Jesus was faithful to God the Father in everything that he did. Everything. I imagine that he would appear to be crazy to the people of that day.

I know today, with everything that is going on in the world and even or maybe especially, within the Catholic Church, there are many people who think that devout Catholics are (brave and) crazy. For those of you who think that’s true, let me just tell you we’re not crazy. (Maybe we’re brave for standing up for our faith.) What we really are is faithful. There is a big difference.

You cannot judge the whole by the actions of a few. Although in today’s society, many people do just that. (And I am in no way condoning or justifying anything that has happened, been covered up, etc. by the Catholic Church, I am just as disgusted by it as anyone). But evil exists and it can take many forms. And while we, as Christians, don’t always understand why these things happen or where these things are going; we have faith and believe that God will bring something good out of everything, even when it looks like chaos. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”- Romans 2:28. Even when we don’t understand. But we remain faithful. We continue to pray. And we know that God has a greater plan and that God is in control.

Today say a prayer for one another and have faith, God will bring something amazing out of the chaos. And today, please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.

Humble, Grateful, Blessed

Exactly one week ago, I had shoulder surgery. In fact, it was scheduled at 10:40am, as I am typing this, it is 10:38am.

Surgery began 168 hours ago. In the past 168 hours, 2.5 of those hours were spent in surgery and recovery and another hour in travel back home. Once I arrived home from surgery, I spent the next 48 hours lying on the sofa in some serious pain. The first night, I got virtually no sleep, the pain was so excruciating. I nearly cried. Tuesday was filled with brief hours of waking, but mostly with dozing, napping, and just generally being useless.

I did finally rouse myself Wednesday morning to get on a conference call and answer some emails. To say it was difficult would be an understatement. I have limited use of my right arm, as I am in a perpetual sling. I happen to be right-handed. Trying to function with only my left hand has been met with minimal success. Wednesday was also the day that I was finally able to shower.

Jazz and Tux made sure I rested when I was left unattended

If you know me, you know I love cleanliness and thoroughly appreciate my daily shower (usually two). So not being able to shower for a couple of days was truly challenging. The bright side was, I felt so awful that I really didn’t want to shower. Honestly, I didn’t even want to move.

Once Wednesday arrived, I could not wait to jump in the shower. Here, in lies the problem. I cannot shower, I cannot get ready to shower, without some assistance. Actually, without a lot of assistance. The sling that I must wear, at all times, except for bathing and exercises, requires someone to help me put it on and take it off. And that is just the first challenge. Then there is the struggle of getting my shirt on and off. I have a very limited range of motion with my right arm. I feel truly helpless. I need someone to help dress and undress me. My husband, who has been my sole source of assistance, seems to like the latter task. I am truly grateful that he has been here to assist me as I recover from surgery.

My one adventure out of the house. I moved my sofa to my son’s sofa

This recovery is taking longer than I had hoped. I knew it was going to be painful. I knew the recovery was lengthy. I knew I would need help with a lot of different things. I completely underestimated that walking would cause pain in my shoulder and arm. I overlooked that sleeping well would be a challenge, particularly while wearing a cumbersome sling. I neglected to realize that eating would be more difficult, that making a cup of coffee would be a huge task and that wearing anything other than sweatpants would require an additional half an hour every time I ventured to the bathroom. I did not think about not being able to shave my legs. Brushing my teeth even takes more time. I failed to understand that I would not be able to carry much of anything and that typing would be a painful task. And I cannot drive. What I failed to really truly understand was that I would need help. Lots of it. I have never felt more useless in my life.

I’m not really good at asking for help. I am an independent and self-reliant woman. And now I am at the mercy of my family, dependent on my husband for just about everything. Yeah, it is difficult. Yeah, it is humbling. And yeah, God is using it to help me grow. To teach me trust. To make me rely more on others. To show me how to ask for help. But it is also growing my relationship with Him, teaching me to trust Him more and lean into Him when I need support and rest. It is also helping me recognize all of the gifts and blessings in my life and is reinforcing my sense of gratitude for all of those who have helped me during this recovery, particularly my husband.

We have been together for almost 30 years and have been married for nearly 27 of those years. When people are together that long, they tend to take each other for granted. But through this little setback, I am reminded of what a blessing he is to me (and so many others) and I am grateful for our marriage and partnership. He has done all of the heavy lifting and handled all of the responsibilities this past week. I am fortunate that he willingly takes such good care of me. From sleepless nights and complaints about pain and discomfort to helping me shower and dress, I am humbled and grateful that God has put him in my life and that together, we pursue a deeper relationship and a deeper reliance on God.

My husband and my dog…two of the three men in my life.

So today, be humble enough to ask for help when you need it and be grateful for the people that God has placed in your life and the blessings that He showers upon you. And today, please pray for me and I will pray for you.

New Year’s Resolutions (Promises)

Have you ever made a promise? Have you made promises to your family, to your friends, and even to yourself? Have you been able to keep those promises?

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, as a noun, a promise means a declaration that one will do or refrain from doing something specified or a legally binding declaration that gives the person to whom it is made a right to expect or to claim the performance or forbearance of a specified act. As a verb, it is to pledge to do, bring about, or provide; to assure someone that one will definitely do, give, or arrange something; undertake or declare that something will happen or give good grounds for expecting (a particular occurrence or situation). We tend to make a lot of promises or make resolutions, particularly as we enter a new year.

A promise is a pretty big deal, but do we treat it as such? We likely make promises of some sort every day to our family and friends; like promising to call, promising to text, promising to get together. How often do we make such promises and then simply forget? I don’t have enough fingers to count the times I have done this; promising my Mom I would call her when I got home but then simply forgetting to do so. Or promising a friend I would text them about getting together but never got around to it.

What about work promises? Have you ever promised to review a document, send an email, make a phone call, or do some research, but then it just never seems to get done? I did this just a few weeks ago, twice to the same person. I promised I would look up some information when I got home and email it to the person. Then I forgot. When she called the next day about it, I apologized because I had forgotten, and I told her I would do it that night when I got home. Guess what, I forgot again. I didn’t intend to break the promise, but I did. Fortunately, my friend is very understanding and did not take my forgetfulness personally.

But what about other promises, promises we make to ourselves, those New Year Resolutions? Have you ever promised yourself you would wake up early to do something constructive (read, work out, run, write, etc.), but when your alarm goes off, you hit snooze, roll over and go right back to sleep? Or what about eating healthier? Ever make that promise to yourself, vowing to pack your lunch for work rather than eat out? Then the next day your coworkers are all going out to lunch and that packed lunch stays in the refrigerator at work.

And what about promises that other people make to you? Your friends promise they will call you and let you know what the plans are for the weekend, but then they go out without you. What about when a family member makes a promise to keep a secret, then tells other family members that very secret that they had sworn to keep? It hurts when someone breaks a promise. It hurts, even more, when it is someone that you love.

A promise is a serious commitment, and it is one commitment that I find people (myself included) oftentimes have a difficult time keeping. But you know who always keeps His promise? God. God always keeps his promises to us. Always.

There are an estimated 8,810 promises in the bible that God makes to us. To each and every one of us. God promises success, confidence, health, prosperity, strength, wisdom, and so much more. God also promises salvation, forgiveness, the assurance of answered prayers, and that He will never abandon us. So, although people fail to keep their promises (me included), God never will. Never.

“Sustain me, my God, according to your promise, I will live; do not let my hopes be dashed. Uphold me and I will be delivered…” Psalm 119:116-117

“I will listen to what God the Lord says; He promises peace to his people, his faithful servants-.” Psalms 85:8

So, today, if you make a promise (or a resolution), make every effort to hold true to that promise. If someone makes a promise to you but does not uphold that commitment, try to be forgiving and remember that God is always faithful. God will keep His promise, even when we may not see or understand it, God is with us. Always. Even when we might not recognize it. So put your trust in Him who keeps His promises. And please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.

Wounds

I had some foot surgery just over two weeks ago. When I scheduled the surgery, I didn’t really think much of it. It was just routine surgery to correct a joint impingement, no big deal. Just a couple of days off my feet, no cast, no boot, just some rest and reduced activity. It was outpatient, scheduled at 8:30am, and I was home by 12:30pm.

My son drove me home and I propped my foot up. I was still a bit groggy from the anesthesia and I dozed on and off on the sofa until the painkiller wore off. Once it wore off, well let’s just say that I finally realized the impact of my surgery. My foot hurt. And it hurt pretty badly. So, I decided to take a look at said foot. It was wrapped in a bloody bandage that I was not allowed to remove for 5 days. And the really great news (this is sarcasm) was that I was not allowed to shower. Not allowed to shower?!?! Really? I shower daily, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. This was going to be rough.

I know you have to clean and dress your wounds in order for them to heal. But that bandage would be staying in place until I went back to the doctor for my post-op follow-up. But as I was pondering cleaning and dressing wounds in order for them to heal, I realized that everybody has wounds beyond the physical, into the mental, emotional, and spiritual.

At some point in life, everyone has experienced some deep injury that has caused heart-wrenching pain. Everybody has been wounded. But a lot of time we choose to deny that these wounds exist, or we ignore them in hopes that they will simply go away. Other times we throw salt on those wounds and exacerbate them to a point where they cause greater agony now than when first inflicted. And sometimes we just slowly pick at them until they become raw and unbearable, never able to properly heal.

The day the bandage came off…gross, I know

Everybody deals with wounds differently. Rarely do we care for those wounds properly. This could be caused by fear, pride, weakness, vanity, anxiety, arrogance, lack of confidence, and the list goes on.

What I learned today is that we need to care for those wounds, even if that means we have to ask for help in doing so. Healing of wounds requires compassion, honesty, trust and vulnerability, a willingness to open yourself up to others and connect. It also requires patience and understanding and the ability to forgive – to forgive others and to forgive yourself.

Today, be kind to yourself, be open to being vulnerable, be patient and practice forgiveness, and may any old wounds with which you may be struggling be healed. And today, please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.