Tag: #honesty

Wounds

I had some foot surgery just over two weeks ago. When I scheduled the surgery, I didn’t really think much of it. It was just routine surgery to correct a joint impingement, no big deal. Just a couple of days off my feet, no cast, no boot, just some rest and reduced activity. It was outpatient, scheduled at 8:30am, and I was home by 12:30pm.

Ready for surgery

My son drove me home and I propped my foot up. I was still a bit groggy from the anesthesia and I dozed on and off on the sofa until the painkiller wore off. Once it wore off, well let’s just say that I finally realized the impact of my surgery. My foot hurt. And it hurt pretty badly. So, I decided to take a look at said foot. It was wrapped in a bloody bandage that I was not allowed to remove for 5 days. And the really great news (this is sarcasm) was that I was not allowed to shower. Not allowed to shower?!?! Really? I shower daily, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day. This was going to be rough.

My bloody bandaged foot

I know you have to clean and dress your wounds in order for them to heal. But that bandage would be staying in place until I went back to the doctor for my post-op follow-up. But as I was pondering cleaning and dressing wounds in order for them to heal, I realized that everybody has wounds beyond the physical, into the mental, emotional, and spiritual.

At some point in life, everyone has experienced some deep injury that has caused heart-wrenching pain. Everybody has been wounded. But a lot of time we choose to deny that these wounds exist, or we ignore them in hopes that they will simply go away. Other times we throw salt on those wounds and exacerbate them to a point where they cause greater agony now than when first inflicted. And sometimes we just slowly pick at them until they become raw and unbearable, never able to properly heal.

The day the bandage came off…gross, I know

Everybody deals with wounds differently. Rarely do we care for those wounds properly. This could be caused by fear, pride, weakness, vanity, anxiety, arrogance, lack of confidence, and the list goes on.

What I learned today is that we need to care for those wounds, even if that means we have to ask for help in doing so. Healing of wounds requires compassion, honesty, trust and vulnerability, a willingness to open yourself up to others and connect. It also requires patience and understanding and the ability to forgive – to forgive others and to forgive yourself.

Healing, but still looking gross

Today, be kind to yourself, be open to being vulnerable, be patient and practice forgiveness, and may any old wounds with which you may be struggling be healed. And today, please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.

Looking better, almost healed.

Faith and Honesty

I love the story of Mary and Martha. That was the gospel reading for today, Luke 10:38-42. And while I wish I was more like Mary, able to sit at the feet of Jesus, at peace, listening to his teaching, taking in his words, I am definitely more like Martha. I can identify with Martha because I often feel the way she does, burdened, anxious and worried about many things.

In fact, I am typing this as I sit in the Atlanta airport on a layover to New Orleans. And as I ponder over the gospel, I am also thinking about no fewer than 10-12 other things, including a chapel renovation project, my dogs, a possible endowment, weekend plans, a number of grants that I am working on, my family – how and what they are doing in my absence, The Joker Movie that I saw this past weekend with my husband, and a handful of other things. I am burdened, anxious and worried about many things.

Burdened, Anxious, and Worried

It was then that I remembered that feast of St. Martha was in July, July 29th to be exact. At that time, I was in Siesta Key. Florida on a family vacation. I wrote a reflection that I shared on Facebook back then, and I would like to share that now as well.

Today is the Feast Day of St. Martha. The more I dig deeper into my faith and the more time I spend learning about the saints, the more I realize that they were people just like us. Even 2,000 years ago, they struggled with a lot of the same things that we still struggle with today.

The more I learn about Martha, the more I like her. Maybe because I am realizing that I am a lot like Martha on a number of different levels. I am anxious; I get irritated when people don’t do what I expect them to do, say what I think they should say or react in a way I have anticipated. Sometimes, I get caught up in the details rather than simply enjoying the moment. I get disappointed too, much like Martha does in today’s gospel. (the gospel was from John 11:19-27)

Martha was disappointed that Jesus didn’t arrive sooner. But Martha is honest with Jesus, blunt even. She doesn’t hold anything back in telling Him how she feels, that she is disappointed and that she doesn’t fully understand. I am not always so honest with God or myself. I want to hide what I am really thinking or feeling because I am embarrassed or ashamed or feel guilt for having such thoughts. But it is in those moments that God wants us to be “real” with Him. He already knows our heart, what is hurting us, what concerns us, but He wants us to bring that to Him directly. He wants us to share it, to give our struggles, our concerns, our challenges, even our ugliness to Him so He can carry that burden for us and heal what might be broken. Having faith in Christ does not mean that we can’t ever question God. It doesn’t mean that we that we aren’t going to wonder why some things occur the way they do or even seek to understand God’s purpose when life seems most bleak.

I love the premise of this morning’s reflection. Because Martha was honest with Jesus, she didn’t hesitate to express her confusion, to give Him her struggles or to share her feelings. But that didn’t mean her faith was weak. If anything it was stronger. Although Martha didn’t understand, she still believed that Jesus was the one, “the Christ, the Son of God, the one who was coming into the world.” I love that!

Having faith doesn’t mean that you won’t question God. Having faith doesn’t mean that you won’t be disappointed. Having faith doesn’t mean that you won’t understand the reason, meaning and purpose for everything that happens in your life. Having faith doesn’t mean that you won’t be angry with God. How many time have you felt these very things about a friend? That is all a part of real friendship. Having faith means that you have faith that everything will work out according to God’s plan. Faith is walking with God through the difficult times and knowing that there is something better waiting for you. Having faith means working on that relationship God, no matter what, cultivating that relationship and continuing to grow it. Our relationship with God should be a friendship, much like Martha had with Jesus.

Maybe we should try to be a little more like Martha and be honest with God about all that is troubling us. Even when we don’t understand a situation, we need to be honest, have faith, address our own concerns with God and know that God is working for our benefit. While you may not understand the situation, remember that God loves you and wants the best for you. He is the friend who is always with you on this journey, so be honest with Him in everything. Please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.