I have been reading the gospels that discuss the parable of the sower in Matthew, Mark and Luke. There is a lot packed into this parable. It says a lot about each of us as we can choose our own type of ground. Will we be rocky or shallow ground, will we be choked by weeds, or will we be rich and fertile soil? We decide how open we are going to be to God, and we choose if we are going to follow Jesus. This parable addresses everyone regardless of where they are in their faith journey and their relationship with God.
The Parable of the Sower in the Gospels of Matthew, Luke and Mark
But rather than thinking about this parable from the perspective of the ground and the seed, I have begun to look at it from the perspective of the sower. The sower is not selective. He freely sowed his seeds, planting them in all places; on rocky paths, in shallow soil, amongst, the weeds, and on fertile ground. He didn’t pick and choose where he would place the seed. He was indiscriminate and he was generous. Think about that for a minute. Indiscriminate and generous, kind of like Jesus.
My garden, just after planting
How indiscriminate are we in sharing kindness? How generous are we in showing love to one another? Or do we only show kindness to those who are kind to us? Are we compassionate to the strangers that we meet, particularly those who are in need? Or do we silently judge them and sneer at their current situation? Are we patient in situations that call for patience (traffic, the checkout line, dealing with family)? Or do we rush through everything in life, filled with self-importance and never having enough time? Do we love with the love of Christ, loving others regardless of who they are? Or do we only love those who are easy to love? We are called to be like Jesus, but are we?
My herb garden – one of my favorite things about summer
There are numerous opportunities throughout the day to share the love of God with others. These are opportunities for us, as common everyday people, to evangelize, to be Christ to others. But we all too often miss those opportunities. We are so busy looking inward that we miss what is around us. We miss the opportunity to show kindness to be compassion, to be examples of Christ’s love in a broken world.
We are both the soil and the sower. Maybe today, we can be better sowers and spread the seeds of love and kindness everywhere, indiscriminate about where and with whom we share these gifts. And today, please pray for me, and I will continue to pray for you.
Today is January – Friday the 13th. I know there is a lot of superstition attached to any Friday the 13th. In fact, horror movies have been based around that date as an omen of bad luck. As a child, I was fascinated by superstition. I even tended to believe them and allow them to dictate my behavior. Not so as an adult. Superstitions are fun to joke about, but I don’t put any trust or belief in them.
My morning of January, Friday the 13th unfolded in a manner in which those who are superstitious would say was caused, in fact, by the date alone. You see this morning, on my drive to work. A deer stepped out on the highway in my lane of travel. Just a few days ago, I was commenting that in all of my years of driving, I have never struck a deer.
Today I was humbled. The deer stepped into my lane, and while I swerved to miss her, she still ran into the back-passenger side of my car. Perhaps it was my gloating that led to the end of my deer-free streak. Maybe it was simply the time of day and time of year. Oddly enough, I did leave 5 minutes earlier than I normally would for work. So, yes, timing makes a difference. Timing is everything. Had I left the house as I normally would at 6am rather than 5:55am, I would have likely never seen that deer.
In many cultures and religions, the deer symbolizes grace. I remember spending time with a friend, who happens to be a religious sister, who told me that the deer represents grace. That was a day when together we had seen three of them on a walk in the woods. A deer representing grace, three of them reminded me of the trinity; there was a great deal of symbolism in that moment. At that time in my life, I think God was trying to get my attention because I wasn’t grounded in my faith; I wasn’t pursuing a relationship with Him. And God reaches out to us in so many ways that we oftentimes miss His message.
Today’s experience with a deer was different. And I will admit, I hope she survived our collision and was not injured. In assessing the damage to my car, which was minimal – just a scratch – I would think that she is just fine, probably just as startled as I was and maybe a little banged up. But the near accident was most definitely filled with God’s grace. It could have been disastrous for both the deer and me.
Therefore, Friday the 13th is not a day of bad luck but rather a day of good luck. I could have been involved in a serious accident. I could have totaled my car, injured myself, and inadvertently killed one of God’s most beautiful and gentle creatures. But I didn’t. And I didn’t because of God’s grace.
This week has been extremely busy and extremely fruitful. I am trying to get things wrapped up both personally and professionally before I have shoulder surgery next week. I have been going at a breakneck pace, trying to get everything done. I think God was giving me a wake-up call and telling me to slow down. Everything will be accomplished…in His time.
So this morning, I slowed down. I said a prayer of Thanksgiving for all of the goodness in my life. It is evident everywhere. Through the people around me, the relationships that I have and the support that I am given, through the beauty of nature that I get to experience each day with beautiful sunrises, gentle rain showers, softly falling snow, and magnificent sunsets, through the gift of waking each day, breathing, and having the opportunity to do work that helps share God’s word and bring others to Christ; even through the near miss I had this morning. Maybe especially through the near miss. God’s grace is abundant.
So today, look for God’s grace in your life. How is He showing it to you? What is He asking of you? What gift is He trying to give you? And today, please pray for me, and I will continue to pray for you.
I attended the Casting Crowns show in Wheeling, WV on Saturday March 7, 2020 with my husband. It was my first Christian concert.
We kind of decided last minute to attend. I had marked the event as “interested” on Facebook a couple of months earlier but never committed to purchase tickets. Then on Friday February 28th, we made the decision to go. We also made the decision to purchase the VIP tickets, having no real idea of what the VIP tickets included.
Needless to say, I was pleasantly surprised when we arrived and were ushered into a Q&A session and were able to sit right in the front row. I enjoyed how the band shared their stories, interacted with audience, and encouraged people to share how the band’s music or a particular song has influenced them.
A lot of people shared, and it was wonderful to hear their stories. I am not one for publicly sharing those types of things, so I declined to participate. But I am pretty good at sharing things in writing, and I have been reflecting on that show and that entire evening. (Matthew West was the opening act and he was very inspiring as well)
If you have read any of my previous posts, you likely know that I was born and raised Catholic, having attended Catholic grade school, high school and college. I have spent most of my career working for Catholic organization. However, I was not really a practicing Catholic. In fact, I had fallen away from organized religion in the later part of my high school career. In college, my beliefs and practices really didn’t matter. Although I attended a small Catholic college, it was quite liberal and there was no real emphasis on faith.
A few years after graduation, I was hired by a Catholic university. So, I faked it. I pretended to be a practicing Catholic; I would periodically attend a Sunday service just so people would see me. I would feign involvement in conferences and events and attend retreats and workshops. I did it, but I didn’t really enjoy it and I didn’t really believe it. It was all a facade. I lived like that for the better part of 25 years.
Jump ahead to December 2015, I was offered a job with a community of religious sisters. It was the first time in my life I really felt that God was calling me to something. And I truly could not explain it because I did not have any kind of relationship with Him. But I accepted it. Accepting that position eventually changed my life, not just my prayer life and faith life, but everything. It changed my relationship with God.
Now don’t get me wrong, it didn’t happen all at once. It wasn’t like flipping a switch. It was gradual, over the course of a few years. And it was little things that helped to bring me back, that helped me find my way back to God, back to prayer, back to my faith. And I honestly loved my job with those sisters.
So, when I lost my job in May of 2019, I was a little blindsided. I really didn’t see it coming, and I could not understand why God would do such a thing right at that moment. I was unemployed. I don’t think I have even been unemployed. That is when I first heard the song Praise You in This Storm.
I asked Alexa to play praise and worship music and this was the first song that came on. It just struck me immediately. I think I may have cried (please don’t tell anybody). I had no idea what God was doing in my life, but He knew. I just needed to trust Him.
The entire year of 2019 was challenging. My father had passed away in 2018. At the beginning of 2019, a good friend from college died after a short bout with glioblastoma. It was surprising to say the least. And it left me wondering “why?” Then I began going through a series of tests for heart and breathing issues which the doctors could not understand. My blood pressure and resting heart were extremely elevated, and I was constantly short of breath. The tests spanned several months and included EKG’s, cardiac stress tests, cardiac catheterization, CT scans, etc. You name it, they did it. Everything was normal, my heart was in excellent condition and blood oxygen was at 100%. Then I got a call that there were some concerns with the CT scan, not with regard to my heart, but to some “spots” that had shown up in my right lung and right breast. I began seeing a pulmonologist (who said it was nothing to be concerned about) and I was ordered to have another mammogram.
By this time, it was October. I had recently had a mammogram in late April which revealed nothing remarkable. They wanted another one, just to be safe. I was diagnosed with breast cancer on November 6th. The song Praise You in This Storm took on a whole new meaning.
I am finding that in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic, it as taken on yet another new meaning. We are dealing with chaos and uncertainty. There is concern and even worry, but the Bible tells us; “Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for al that he has done.” Philippians 4:6.
I am currently reading The Fifth Mountain by Paul Coehlo (as well as a few other books) and this passage struck me:
“Everything will happen as was written by the Lord. There are moments when tribulations occur in our lives, and we cannot avoid them. But they are for some reason.”
“What Reason?”
“That is the question we cannot answer before or even during the trials. Only when we have overcome them do we understand why they were there.”
The Fifth Mountain, Paul Coelho
That is where we are right now. So today, Praise God, even (or maybe especially) during this crazy storm, these unsettling times and this unsure future. He is in control and He has a greater plan. He is waiting for us to turn to Him, to put our trust and our faith in Him; we have shut Him out for far too long. “Return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and rich in kindness; and he relents from doing harm.” Joel 2:13.
Please pray for all of those who are working to battle this pandemic, those who are serving the ones who are afflicted with the virus, and those who are battling the virus as well as their families. And please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.
Surprisingly, to others and to myself, I am in a good place right now. You would think that someone facing cancer and a mastectomy in less than two weeks, along with the uncertainty of knowing the extent of the cancer or the treatment plan, might be in a dark, soulless, sad place. I’m not. I am happy, I am at ease, I am content. I am not scared, I am not worried, I am not anxious. In a word, I am peaceful.
When I think about it, I mean really think about it, I am as surprised as anybody by my mental and emotional state. I mean, shouldn’t I be stressed? Shouldn’t I be frazzled? Shouldn’t I be dismayed? Shouldn’t I be nervous? Maybe I should be, but I’m not.
And then I saw a quote shared by a friend on Facebook that read, “You can’t break a woman that seeks her happiness from God.” It really struck me. You see, God and I weren’t really close friends until about two and a half years ago. I mean I believed in God, but I didn’t really have a relationship with Him outside of attending the obligatory Sunday service. And even that didn’t happen with much regularity. I was pretty closed off to God. He was some far distant being that I really didn’t understand and I was pretty certain He did not really know me.
Inspired by my work with the Franciscan Sisters, TOR; I decided I would give a relationship with God a chance. I mean, I was working for these women who had these incredible relationships with God, but I really didn’t. They were happy, joyful, peaceful. I was not. The difference, God was a part of their lives; God was not a part of mine.
So I began attending Sunday mass regularly, then a couple of masses during the week. At first it was sporadic, but then it grew into attending the daily mass. I would skip Saturday, because I thought I needed to sleep in. Yes, lame, I know. Then one Saturday, I was awake early, so I went to mass. Over the course of a few months, it developed into a daily habit…attending mass. I know that habit developed because of the influence of the sisters.
I have been attending daily mass for just over two years. Now on the days, that I do not go to mass, there is a little bit of an emptiness. I miss it. It affects the rest of my day. Fortunately, the days that I miss are few and far between because daily mass is a priority for me. And while I no longer work for the sisters, I still try to attend mass at the monastery at least once a week.
Most of my mornings begin with mass at the high school or at Holy Rosary (the church is right across the street from the school and they have a 7:00am mass Tuesday-Friday). But today I decided to attend 8:00am morning mass at my own parish, Holy Family. I knew the pastor would hear my confession this morning, and I wanted to get right with the Lord before surgery.
There was a reason I was at that mass. Aside from receiving the sacrament of reconciliation and seeing some people whom I have not seen in a while, Monsignor’s homily spoke directly to me. It was based on the responsorial psalm, and the theme – trust in the Lord, do not fear. He asked the congregation, “Do you trust in God? If you do, you will not be afraid.” It was in that moment that I realized that I truly do trust in God to handle this whole cancer thing for me, because I am not afraid. I am at peace. I am happy. Overall, my life is great and I am living the dream. I’m just living the dream with a little bit of cancer.
Yes, there are moments when doubt and fear creep in. There are moments when the uncertainty overwhelms me. I would be lying if said that didn’t happen. It does, but not often. Generally, I am good. No, scratch that, I am great! I got this, because God has got this.
So I will heed the advice contained in Psalm 56, “In God I trust, I shall not fear”. The verse that really touched me, 10B-11: “Now I know that God is with me. In God, in whose promise I glory, in God I trust without fear; what can flesh do against me?” That mass, that homily, that verse reinforced for me that you truly “can’t break a woman that seeks her happiness from God.” A little cancer can’t break me.
So today, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6. Trust in God and don’t let anything break you. Please pray from me and I will continue to pray for you.
I love the story of Mary and Martha. That was the gospel reading for today, Luke 10:38-42. And while I wish I was more like Mary, able to sit at the feet of Jesus, at peace, listening to his teaching, taking in his words, I am definitely more like Martha. I can identify with Martha because I often feel the way she does, burdened, anxious and worried about many things.
In fact, I am typing this as I sit in the Atlanta airport on a layover to New Orleans. And as I ponder over the gospel, I am also thinking about no fewer than 10-12 other things, including a chapel renovation project, my dogs, a possible endowment, weekend plans, a number of grants that I am working on, my family – how and what they are doing in my absence, The Joker Movie that I saw this past weekend with my husband, and a handful of other things. I am burdened, anxious and worried about many things.
It was then that I remembered that feast of St. Martha was in July, July 29th to be exact. At that time, I was in Siesta Key. Florida on a family vacation. I wrote a reflection that I shared on Facebook back then, and I would like to share that now as well.
Today is the Feast Day of St. Martha. The more I dig deeper into my faith and the more time I spend learning about the saints, the more I realize that they were people just like us. Even 2,000 years ago, they struggled with a lot of the same things that we still struggle with today.
The more I learn about Martha, the more I like her. Maybe because I am realizing that I am a lot like Martha on a number of different levels. I am anxious; I get irritated when people don’t do what I expect them to do, say what I think they should say or react in a way I have anticipated. Sometimes, I get caught up in the details rather than simply enjoying the moment. I get disappointed too, much like Martha does in today’s gospel. (the gospel was from John 11:19-27)
Martha was disappointed that Jesus didn’t arrive sooner. But Martha is honest with Jesus, blunt even. She doesn’t hold anything back in telling Him how she feels, that she is disappointed and that she doesn’t fully understand. I am not always so honest with God or myself. I want to hide what I am really thinking or feeling because I am embarrassed or ashamed or feel guilt for having such thoughts. But it is in those moments that God wants us to be “real” with Him. He already knows our heart, what is hurting us, what concerns us, but He wants us to bring that to Him directly. He wants us to share it, to give our struggles, our concerns, our challenges, even our ugliness to Him so He can carry that burden for us and heal what might be broken. Having faith in Christ does not mean that we can’t ever question God. It doesn’t mean that we that we aren’t going to wonder why some things occur the way they do or even seek to understand God’s purpose when life seems most bleak.
I love the premise of this morning’s reflection. Because Martha was honest with Jesus, she didn’t hesitate to express her confusion, to give Him her struggles or to share her feelings. But that didn’t mean her faith was weak. If anything it was stronger. Although Martha didn’t understand, she still believed that Jesus was the one, “the Christ, the Son of God, the one who was coming into the world.” I love that!
Having faith doesn’t mean that you won’t question God. Having faith doesn’t mean that you won’t be disappointed. Having faith doesn’t mean that you won’t understand the reason, meaning and purpose for everything that happens in your life. Having faith doesn’t mean that you won’t be angry with God. How many time have you felt these very things about a friend? That is all a part of real friendship. Having faith means that you have faith that everything will work out according to God’s plan. Faith is walking with God through the difficult times and knowing that there is something better waiting for you. Having faith means working on that relationship God, no matter what, cultivating that relationship and continuing to grow it. Our relationship with God should be a friendship, much like Martha had with Jesus.
Maybe we should try to be a little more like Martha and be honest with God about all that is troubling us. Even when we don’t understand a situation, we need to be honest, have faith, address our own concerns with God and know that God is working for our benefit. While you may not understand the situation, remember that God loves you and wants the best for you. He is the friend who is always with you on this journey, so be honest with Him in everything. Please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.
Tattoos, Motorcycles, Beer, Bourbon and Faith 