#slowdown – Tattoos, Motorcycles, Beer, Bourbon and Faith

Accosted by Grace

Today is January – Friday the 13th. I know there is a lot of superstition attached to any Friday the 13th. In fact, horror movies have been based around that date as an omen of bad luck. As a child, I was fascinated by superstition. I even tended to believe them and allow them to dictate my behavior. Not so as an adult. Superstitions are fun to joke about, but I don’t put any trust or belief in them.

My morning of January, Friday the 13th unfolded in a manner in which those who are superstitious would say was caused, in fact, by the date alone. You see this morning, on my drive to work. A deer stepped out on the highway in my lane of travel. Just a few days ago, I was commenting that in all of my years of driving, I have never struck a deer.

Today I was humbled. The deer stepped into my lane, and while I swerved to miss her, she still ran into the back-passenger side of my car. Perhaps it was my gloating that led to the end of my deer-free streak. Maybe it was simply the time of day and time of year. Oddly enough, I did leave 5 minutes earlier than I normally would for work. So, yes, timing makes a difference. Timing is everything. Had I left the house as I normally would at 6am rather than 5:55am, I would have likely never seen that deer.

In many cultures and religions, the deer symbolizes grace. I remember spending time with a friend, who happens to be a religious sister, who told me that the deer represents grace. That was a day when together we had seen three of them on a walk in the woods. A deer representing grace, three of them reminded me of the trinity; there was a great deal of symbolism in that moment. At that time in my life, I think God was trying to get my attention because I wasn’t grounded in my faith; I wasn’t pursuing a relationship with Him. And God reaches out to us in so many ways that we oftentimes miss His message.

Today’s experience with a deer was different. And I will admit, I hope she survived our collision and was not injured. In assessing the damage to my car, which was minimal – just a scratch – I would think that she is just fine, probably just as startled as I was and maybe a little banged up. But the near accident was most definitely filled with God’s grace. It could have been disastrous for both the deer and me.

Therefore, Friday the 13th is not a day of bad luck but rather a day of good luck. I could have been involved in a serious accident. I could have totaled my car, injured myself, and inadvertently killed one of God’s most beautiful and gentle creatures. But I didn’t. And I didn’t because of God’s grace.

Photo by Djalma Paiva Armelin on Pexels.com

This week has been extremely busy and extremely fruitful. I am trying to get things wrapped up both personally and professionally before I have shoulder surgery next week. I have been going at a breakneck pace, trying to get everything done. I think God was giving me a wake-up call and telling me to slow down. Everything will be accomplished…in His time.

So this morning, I slowed down. I said a prayer of Thanksgiving for all of the goodness in my life. It is evident everywhere. Through the people around me, the relationships that I have and the support that I am given, through the beauty of nature that I get to experience each day with beautiful sunrises, gentle rain showers, softly falling snow, and magnificent sunsets, through the gift of waking each day, breathing, and having the opportunity to do work that helps share God’s word and bring others to Christ; even through the near miss I had this morning. Maybe especially through the near miss. God’s grace is abundant.

So today, look for God’s grace in your life. How is He showing it to you? What is He asking of you? What gift is He trying to give you? And today, please pray for me, and I will continue to pray for you.

Miracles, Gratitude and Life During the Pandemic

I have taken the shelter in place/stay at home order pretty seriously since it was instituted in mid-March. I have to; I am now considered to be in one of those high-risk groups since I was diagnosed with and treated for breast cancer.

I will admit, I was not too excited when the schools closed, then the restaurants were ordered to serve take-out only, then the hair salons were shut down along with all other businesses that are considered non-essential. T.J Maxx is one of my favorite places to which to escape and engage in a little retail therapy. I thought it was a bit ridiculous, too precautious, a little bit over the top. In my opinion, it was overkill. But as things progressed and the coronavirus continued to spread rapidly, I began to understand, heed the warnings, and take the recommended precautions.

I have been working from home since Monday March 16^th. That was my last official day in the office. That was day I transferred my office at the high school to the dining room table in my home. It was also the same evening that we adopted a fourth dog – Bailey, a Staffordshire terrier puppy (we think) who was about 3 months old when we brought her home. My husband and I figured, since we both would be working from home for the next month, this would be the perfect time to add a new puppy to our pack.

That first week of the shelter in place order, I kind of took it seriously. I stayed home more, but still went to the store often, went into the office to pick up mail, etc. and even stopped to see my mom and show her my new puppy. Then there was a confirmed case in our county and things got real. I made it a point to stay home and avoid unnecessary contact with people. I began planning weekly meals so I could limit my grocery shopping to only once a week (or longer when possible). I began ordering more products on-line, including items for our pets and general necessities like laundry detergent and paper towels. The stay at home order took on a whole new meaning.

Staying healthy has become a bit of an obsession for me. I am preparing nutrient rich, vegetable heavy dinners, working out daily, and walking the dogs approximately 5 miles every day. While I hope I do not appear rude during those walks, I have been very conscious of social distancing and will not get close to my neighbors when we do have conversations. And I try to limit any face to face social discourse. I nearly had a panic attack when a neighbor walked into our yard to comment on the fence project my husband and son took on during the pandemic. He was just a little too close for me.

Greek chicken and roasted spring vegetables

I have rescheduled all doctor’s appointments and avoid the grocery store when I anticipate that it will be busy. I have taken advantage of the special shopping hours available for the elderly and those who are a higher risk. I never thought that would be the case, but it is. And if at any time I begin to feel even remotely ill, I tackle it head on. That usually means, hot tea, a good stiff shot, extra vitamin C, and more rest.

Overall, as a family, I think we have adjusted well to life during the pandemic. As I mentioned before, I am appreciating this slower pace, more time with family, the opportunities to connect with friends, the meaningful conversations, the chance to declutter a bit in all aspects of our lives.

But today, today was the first day that I ventured out of the house and into the school in nearly four weeks. While I have been successfully working from home, there were a few things that I just could not accomplish remotely. I went in after virtual morning mass and arrived just before 9am. When I arrived, I found our Assistant Principal at work in her office. It was a bit surreal to be in the building on a weekday, during the school year, without any teachers or staff present. Actually, it was downright weird. We exchanged some pleasantries, from an acceptable social distance, then I set off to handle the tasks that I come in to complete.

It took about 2 hours to get my work done. About 1 hour into it, I took a break and walked down to the chapel. The door was open, the chancel candle was lit, the Missal was opened on the altar, and the lectionary was on the pulpit. Everything was in order as if we would be celebrating mass together that very day. But we were not. I went in and sat down. I had begun praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet with our chaplain and campus minister on Instagram, but when I got to the chapel, I lost the connection. So, I just sat in the chapel quietly with God for a while, said a silent prayer, then returned to my office to complete the tasks at hand.

Before I finished at the school, I spoke with our accounting clerk who came in to handle some financial matters. Our offices are adjacent, and she is kind enough to drop off materials weekly at my house that I need to do my job. Once I finished at the school, I left for the post office then I would return to my office at the dining room table to make some phone calls and send some emails.

When I left the post office, I had this incredible urge to stop at Holy Family Church, my home parish. I had not been in the church since the weekend before the stay at home order was executed. It felt good to be back. I was completely alone in the church, well just me and God. (While there are no public services, the Catholic Churches are still open to provide places of prayer and reflection for the faithful.)

Now, I must admit, I did have an ulterior motive for stopping. Our parish often has “The Word Among Us” publications available for the parishioners. I has hoping to pick up a copy as I like to follow along with the readings and Gospel during daily mass. I also enjoy the daily reflections and stories. The last publication ran through Easter Sunday. I walked in and checked the table where Monsignor normally places the booklets, but there were none there. I was not sure if there would be any booklets because of the strangeness of these times. I proceeded into the church, sat down, and read the daily reflections in the Laudate app on my phone and prayed for a while.

I got up to leave, grateful for that time in church. I did not realize just how much I missed it until I walked through the doors. As I was walking out, there on the very table that I had checked when I came in was one copy of the new “The Word Among Us”! Yes, it was a miracle. Yes, it was something that I needed, and God knew it. Yes, it was amazing. Yes, it took my breath away. As I picked it up, I thanked God for my little journey out into the real world today. I thanked Him for the work that I had to do, the tasks that I needed to complete at the school. I thanked Him for the few interactions that I had with coworkers and that time of quiet in the chapel. I thanked Him for my parish, my priests (all of them), and for that booklet that just appeared. I thanked Him for all of the blessings in my life, especially the ones that I never really noticed until I was forced to slow down, stay indoors, and shelter in place.

So today, be grateful for all the blessings, all of the little miracles, and remember to thank God. He really is there. And while you can never surprise Him, He just might surprise you when you least expect it. Please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.

Lessons from Dogs

I have been reading the book The Fifth Mountain, by Paul Coelho. There is a lot of wisdom packed into this book. A passage that I read last night struck me: “A child can always teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.” I read it before bed and pondered it as I fell asleep. Each time I woke in the middle of the night, I contemplated it even more.

Now some people might not fully understand this or appreciate this, but I am a dog person. Full blown dog person. We have rescued 4 dogs in the past six years, two of those dogs in the past 3 months. I have a t-shirt that reads “Dog Mom” (although I also have a 30-year-old son and an 18-year-old son). I have a mug that reads “I love dogs. It’s people that annoy me.” And I spend most of my free time with my pack. The two youngest dogs (Charlie and Bailey) sleep with my husband and me every night. I let them lick my face and crawl in my lap. Even Ruby, our largest dog at 55lbs, thinks she is lap dog. I will even share my beverages with them. I would rather drink after my dog than drink after another person (my husband and sons are the exception). They can get me muddy and I love to wrestle and cuddle them. When they get sick, I don’t become nearly a queasy (but I still don’t handle it all that well) as I do when a human in my house has the same problem. Therefore, I relate most things to my dogs and not to people.

When I read that passage, I immediately thought of my dogs. I know most people would reflect on children, not me. I’m not great with kids, nor do I really relate to them even though I have experience in raising them and being around them. But dogs – my dogs – have taught me the same things, especially in these uncertain times.

The events of the past few weeks have not phased them. They have adjusted quite well to the new normal of having humans with them all the time. They have found joy in spending time with their people, going for more walks than normal, getting bathed more frequently (thanks to the torrential rains and resulting mud we have experienced this past week), watching movies (I thought the dogs needed to see Bolt), and just generally living their best lives. They are the epitome of happiness. I am pretty sure the shelter in place order is their idea of paradise. They love their people, love being with their people, never tire of their people, and are just generally appreciative of spending time with their people, no mater the situation. Right there is a huge lesson we can learn from dogs – Appreciate the people in your lives.

My dogs are always busy with something, even if its sleeping. They pack a lot into their days and help us pack a lot into ours as we all learn to navigate this new normal. The daily walks not only keep them busy and active, but also help us fill in our time and get some exercise and fresh air. They get us outside to play ball in the yard. When indoors they wrestle, play tug of war, and even keep the cats on their toes by playing with them (a combination of wrestling, tag and hide and seek). They spend hours chewing, working on deer antlers or Nyla-bones. But best of all, they know when their people need them. When we need a break from the stress that inevitably sneaks into our days because of the strangeness that COVID-19 has brought into our lives; they nudge us for an ear rub, lay on our feet, lick our faces, or put their paws into our laps letting us know that everything will be ok – eventually.

Lastly, the dogs make no bones about (no pun intended) letting us know exactly what they want or need. They each tell us when they need to go out. Eve (our oldest dog) has an internal alarm that lets her know when it is dinner time and when its time for her bed to made up for the evening (that’s another story). She proceeds to announce those times to our household daily. Ruby will let us know when she doesn’t have to go out and when she just wants to sleep. And she snores like a drunken sailor. She will reluctantly join the pack in regular outings only because she knows eventually, she will be forced to. Charlie tells us when he wants to play fetch and tug of war by bringing us toys. He’s like a little energizer bunny. Bailey lets us know when she needs some cuddles by putting her paws on your leg until you pick her up. If you are standing up, she will sit between your feet until she has your attention. And if we haven’t given them enough attention or spent enough time with them, they let us know by singing the song of their people or by just generally being persistent with nudges, playful growls, and happy barks. When all else fails, they climb – uninvited – into our laps.

I can’t help but think that maybe this is what God is doing right now. Trying to get our attention. Trying to get us to slow down and return our focus to Him. Trying to get us to re-order our priorities. Many people have kicked Him out, haven’t made room or time for Him. I think maybe He is trying desperately to get back into our lives.

As odd as it sounds, there have been so many blessings in the midst of this chaos. While I cannot attend daily mass like I normally would, I have been attending virtually with Fr. Michael Gossett. He has celebrated mass everyday for the students, parents, faculty and staff of the Steubenville Catholic Schools (and anyone who wishes to attend). That is a blessing in and of itself. The bigger blessing is that my husband has been participating with me. I have actually gotten to spend time with my 18-year-old son. We have had dinner together nightly as a family. We have also had movie night and a family Atari tournament. We are talking more, reading more, praying more. We are checking in more often on family and friends, and we are spending less time on the superficial meaningless things that have filled our lives. Those are real, tangible blessings.

Spicy Asian Chicken Lettuce Wraps for dinner

So today, lets learn from dogs how to be happy and how to stay busy within in all the turmoil. And especially today, let’s give God the praise and the attention that He deserves. Look for the blessings buried within the chaos and the confusion. I promise you; they are there, and they are abundant. Please continue to pray for all of those on the frontlines and in the trenches as we continue to battle the coronavirus pandemic as a community. And please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.

Be Still and Know that I am God

On Thursday March 5th, I got up early, packed my husband’s lunch and headed into work. I didn’t attend the 7am morning mass at Holy Rosary because I was going to attend the 7:15am mass at the high school. I got into my office around 6:30am, checked my email, ran a couple of metric reports, checked my tasks for the day, and made some preparations for a 10 o’clock meeting. At 5 minutes til 7, I grabbed my prayer and reflection books and headed to the chapel. I was slightly surprised when I entered, because the lights were not on, but the window was opened. I didn’t think much of it as I settled into the pew and began reading the daily reflections.

The chapel at the high school and the window that was opened on that Thursday morning.

The darkness and the stillness of the chapel was peaceful. It was lit only by dimmed spotlights lights on the tabernacle and candlelight. It was so quiet, the only sound being the window shades gently rustling together in the cool morning breeze. I don’t ever recall the window being opened when it was so chilly outside particularly then when there was no one in the chapel, but the window was opened that morning. The sounds of the shades tapping together was mesmerizing. As I sat listening to it, I realized that it was now after 7:15am and there was nobody else in the chapel. There were no students. There was no staff. There was no priest. There was no morning mass. There was just God.

Now I am not sure what made me think that there would be mass at the high school on a Thursday morning, because typically there is not. Mass is celebrated on Monday and Wednesday mornings throughout the school year. And just this semester they added a Tuesday morning mass, thanks to a priest who volunteered to be the celebrant each week. But for some reason, on this particular week, I thought there was a Thursday mass. So firmly I believed this that I had told a family attending mass on Tuesday that I would see them on Thursday, because I was attending a different mass the following morning. They smiled and said “see you then”, without batting an eye. Now I am wondering if they thought that I was perhaps crazy. And I haven’t actually seen them since that Tuesday morning mass.

Normally when I miss morning mass, my entire day is thrown off, but not on this day. There was a calmness and tranquility about that morning that I can’t explain. It was almost like God just wanted me to spend some time alone with Him in that chapel. And I think it was something that I needed, that time alone with God, without anybody else, with the quiet atmosphere and the glow of the flickering candles, with the open window and mesmeric flapping of the blinds. Although I was alone in that chapel, I wasn’t alone, God was right there with me and I could just be. I always seemed to have a difficult time living out Psalm 46:10 “be still and know that I am God.” Or just resting in the Lord. That morning, I finally realized exactly what that meant.

My day didn’t fall apart because I didn’t begin it in the way I had intended. Of course, the first thoughts that ran through my head – as I had a conversation with myself – was “Wait, there’s no mass? I just missed morning mass. How could I make such a mistake?” But then I realized, that time in the chapel by myself was remarkable. If anything, I think it may have been exactly what I needed; stillness, quietness, darkness, peacefulness, some unexpected time to myself with God, in the chapel at my high school.

I have spent more time in that chapel in the last 9 months than I ever did in my entire high school career. In fact, I am pretty sure I never set foot in that chapel when I was a student. I was far too cool for that. Yeah, right.

It’s is amazing how your perspectives change as you grow older, how your faith can evolve if you open yourself up to God, how your relationship with God changes if you allow it. Your priorities shift, things that were once significant are not any longer and new things take over as being important. Usually those new things aren’t things at all but rather people and relationships and experiences. I guess that is metanoia, or ongoing conversion. It is pretty amazing.

What else is pretty amazing is that God really does know exactly what you need when you need it. If you stop for a moment, breathe and “be still”, you may actually feel those priorities shift if you just give Him a little time and a little space to work in your life. Missing mass Thursday morning was no accident. When I realized that mass was not going to be celebrated I thought I had made a mistake. But I didn’t. I was supposed to be in that chapel alone with God in that very moment. I needed it and God knew I needed it.

So today take those little mistakes, mess-ups, accidents, or missteps and see what God is trying to tell you or show you. Maybe He is saying slow down, relax, don’t worry, or maybe He is just asking you to spend some uninterrupted time with Him. What a great thing to do during your Lenten Journey! And today, please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.

What Did You Forget?

I left for mass earlier than normal this morning, around 6:20am. I thought I would allow myself some extra time to pray and sit quietly in the church. That is one thing that I love about morning mass at Holy Rosary, the silence. There are no side conversations, no laughing, no gossiping and no socializing in the sanctuary. Even the group that prays morning prayer together does it so quietly that you can scarcely hear them at all. Call me old fashioned, but I believe there should be a respectful, prayerful silence in church. I am all for the community that church brings, but I prefer to keep that outside of the sacred space, say in the church hall or even outside the building before or after the service.

I pulled into the parking lot at 6:30am. Mass begins at 7am. When I went to grab my phone, I realized that I had left it at home. Because it is necessary for my job, I was forced to turn around and drive back home. (I go to work immediately following mass). There would not be any extra time for prayer this morning.

Normally, I would allow something like this to disrupt my entire day. It would turn my world upside down. However today I was actually peaceful about it. To be honest, I surprised myself by my own reaction or lack thereof. I uttered no profanities, I didn’t worry about how it would impact the rest of day, I simply drove back home to get my phone. Fortunately, I live close enough to the church that I knew I would still make it back in time for mass.

Today’s reflections could not have been more fitting. I guess today I was able to say “Oh, well.”

It was still dark when I pulled out of the lot and headed out Sunset Blvd. I would have my phone in hand in approximately 10 minutes. I hit no red lights on my way home. And there was no traffic at 6:30am. My return even surprised my husband. But I grabbed my phone, gave him a quick kiss and headed back to mass.

As I was driving back, I realized that there was a definite purpose to forgetting my phone. The dawn was just beginning to break and the sky was brilliantly colored, with hues of gold, orange, red, pink, purple and blue. It was magnificent! I love the morning and evening sky. Sunrises and sunsets are two of my most favorite things. So forgetting my phone today ended up being a gift. God gave me a beautiful sunrise to welcome me back to mass, as well as the peace to endure that little morning hiccup that enabled me to enjoy His brilliant masterpiece.

I still got into church with 10 minutes to spare. I was able to read the morning reflections and offer a prayer of thanksgiving for the beautiful sunrise. It was then that I realized that maybe I do need to slow down just a little bit and enjoy the moments and the people around me.

The past few weeks, I have been operating at a break-neck pace trying keep all these balls I have been juggling in the air. I have forgotten to take time to be with my family; I have forgot to stop and enjoy the beauty of the morning sky; I have forgotten that if something doesn’t get done today, it will still there tomorrow; I have forgotten to really be present to others because I am so preoccupied with my own juggling act; I forgotten to thank God for all of the blessings in my life – including the opportunity each day to start all over again; I have forgotten that things that are really important are not things and events, but people and time. And I realized all of this because I had forgotten my phone.

It’s funny how God uses everyday life to reach out to us. I am always amazed by these little moments of clarity. They tend to occur when I least expect them, but when I need them most. So today, slow-down, and enjoy each moment and each person that is a part of your life. Maybe even forget your phone. And today, please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.