Tag: #happy

Living the Dream

Surprisingly, to others and to myself, I am in a good place right now. You would think that someone facing cancer and a mastectomy in less than two weeks, along with the uncertainty of knowing the extent of the cancer or the treatment plan, might be in a dark, soulless, sad place. I’m not. I am happy, I am at ease, I am content. I am not scared, I am not worried, I am not anxious. In a word, I am peaceful.

When I think about it, I mean really think about it, I am as surprised as anybody by my mental and emotional state. I mean, shouldn’t I be stressed? Shouldn’t I be frazzled? Shouldn’t I be dismayed? Shouldn’t I be nervous? Maybe I should be, but I’m not.

And then I saw a quote shared by a friend on Facebook that read, “You can’t break a woman that seeks her happiness from God.” It really struck me. You see, God and I weren’t really close friends until about two and a half years ago. I mean I believed in God, but I didn’t really have a relationship with Him outside of attending the obligatory Sunday service. And even that didn’t happen with much regularity. I was pretty closed off to God. He was some far distant being that I really didn’t understand and I was pretty certain He did not really know me.

Inspired by my work with the Franciscan Sisters, TOR; I decided I would give a relationship with God a chance. I mean, I was working for these women who had these incredible relationships with God, but I really didn’t. They were happy, joyful, peaceful. I was not. The difference, God was a part of their lives; God was not a part of mine.

So I began attending Sunday mass regularly, then a couple of masses during the week. At first it was sporadic, but then it grew into attending the daily mass. I would skip Saturday, because I thought I needed to sleep in. Yes, lame, I know. Then one Saturday, I was awake early, so I went to mass. Over the course of a few months, it developed into a daily habit…attending mass. I know that habit developed because of the influence of the sisters.

I have been attending daily mass for just over two years. Now on the days, that I do not go to mass, there is a little bit of an emptiness. I miss it. It affects the rest of my day. Fortunately, the days that I miss are few and far between because daily mass is a priority for me. And while I no longer work for the sisters, I still try to attend mass at the monastery at least once a week.

Most of my mornings begin with mass at the high school or at Holy Rosary (the church is right across the street from the school and they have a 7:00am mass Tuesday-Friday). But today I decided to attend 8:00am morning mass at my own parish, Holy Family. I knew the pastor would hear my confession this morning, and I wanted to get right with the Lord before surgery.

There was a reason I was at that mass. Aside from receiving the sacrament of reconciliation and seeing some people whom I have not seen in a while, Monsignor’s homily spoke directly to me. It was based on the responsorial psalm, and the theme – trust in the Lord, do not fear. He asked the congregation, “Do you trust in God? If you do, you will not be afraid.” It was in that moment that I realized that I truly do trust in God to handle this whole cancer thing for me, because I am not afraid. I am at peace. I am happy. Overall, my life is great and I am living the dream. I’m just living the dream with a little bit of cancer.

Yes, there are moments when doubt and fear creep in. There are moments when the uncertainty overwhelms me. I would be lying if said that didn’t happen. It does, but not often. Generally, I am good. No, scratch that, I am great! I got this, because God has got this.

So I will heed the advice contained in Psalm 56, “In God I trust, I shall not fear”. The verse that really touched me, 10B-11: “Now I know that God is with me. In God, in whose promise I glory, in God I trust without fear; what can flesh do against me?” That mass, that homily, that verse reinforced for me that you truly “can’t break a woman that seeks her happiness from God.” A little cancer can’t break me.

So today, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6. Trust in God and don’t let anything break you. Please pray from me and I will continue to pray for you.

Common Threads

I am amazed by the things that are transpiring right now and how they parallel the things that I experienced one year ago. I am sure it is not a coincidence that what I reflected on just one year ago are the very same contemplation’s that fill my mind now. I am just sure what God is trying to tell me through this. At least not yet.

So once again when my memories from last year came up, I feel like it was worthy of sharing. Especially when it builds on some concepts I have already shared this week and resonates with the theme that seems to be developing for me this week; including Ellen’s message about being kind and how that applies to everyone – not just people with whom you share a commonality. I have gained a new respect for her. Her statement and this reflection share a common thread. So here it is…

I love dogs. I actually love animals, but I am partial to dogs (and cats). There is a dog beach located a short walk from the condo in which we are staying. While I obviously miss my boys when I travel, I also miss my animals, especially the dogs – Ruby and Eve. Cats are great, but they can be fickle and aloof and independent. And they are not always happy to see me. Dogs, on the other hand, are loyal, loving, and always happy.

I walk to the dog beach every day to get my “fix”. I am usually greeted by a few dogs that can just sense that I am dog person. Their owners always seem a bit apprehensive at first when their dog runs towards me, but once they realize that I fully welcome their furry companions attention, their nervousness turns to relief. We typically end up in a conversation about what else, our dogs.

The dog beach is filled with all types of dogs, big dogs and little dogs, senior dogs and puppies, furry dogs and short haired dogs, fat dogs and thin dogs, pure-breds and mutts. And their owners also come from every spectrum imaginable, men and women, young people and retirees, gay and straight, liberal and conservative, wealthy and poor, atheist and Christian, and every nationality and race imaginable. But the dogs don’t view each other by their different backgrounds or by the categories of gender, age, race, religion or political persuasion. They view each other as coming from the same family – canis lupus familiaris.

Tux, the cat, thinks she is a dog. Ruby and Eve accept her as one of their own.

They are all dogs. It doesn’t matter if they are registered with the American Kennel Club or adopted from a shelter, if they are male or female, neutered or spayed, young or old, shaggy or short haired. They are happy to have the opportunity to run on the beach, chase a ball, walk with their owners, meet other dogs, play in the surf, run after the birds, or just lounge in the sand. You see, dogs don’t have an agenda or expectations. They are not worried about impressing each other or out to serve some self-interest. Watching them interact with each other and with their owners, you can clearly see what gratitude and happiness looks like. They are an example of pure, unadulterated joy. Dogs take nothing for granted. They have low expectations, they are accepting, and the love unconditionally. They delight in the simple things in life; a run/walk on the beach, enjoy the company of friends, the opportunity to play, and moments to sit rest and just be.

You see, we can learn a lot from dogs. They are accepting of each other. It doesn’t matter where they came from, what their current situation is, who their owners are, or how they came to be where they are. They are all part of the same family – canis lupus familiaris. They are dogs. And they know gratitude. Remember, gratitude leads to joy.

Maybe if we started to treat each other as part of the same family – humankind, and less like all of the labels that we attach to ourselves and to one another, we would be better able to operate from a place of gratitude and travel that path that leads to joy. Today, look beyond someone who is not like you and see and appreciate the human being who they are. Be thankful for the simple things in your life. And take that first step on the path to joy.

Please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.