#Gratefulness – Tattoos, Motorcycles, Beer, Bourbon and Faith

Taken for Granted

Anyone who knows me well knows that a daily workout is a serious part of my life. In fact, my husband can tell the days that I do not workout. I am much grouchier on those days. This is true. I know that and I accept that and I try desperately to work out every day. It is just good for my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. And it is just good for the general well-being of others who have to deal with me.

Unfortunately, shoulder surgery has ground my exercise routine to a screeching halt. There is little I can do, other than walk. Depending on the speed and incline, that can even be a challenge. I have started PT, which is primarily assisted PT, but have been told it will be quite some time before I am cleared for other exercises (ie. weight training). Insert big sigh here.

I have lost quite a bit of muscle since surgery

And while my exercise has suffered these last few weeks, my prayer life has flourished. I have had ample time to talk with God, and on some occasions, I may have yelled at Him. My day starts with the Bible app, including the verse of the day and a guided prayer. It continues with reading portions of the bible then a devotional reading (I am currently doing a 21-day devotional on Psalm 91). At one point in my life, I did attend daily morning mass. My current job does not permit that, but does allow me to participate in morning prayer. However, as I am recovering, I am working remotely. I am not permitted to drive while arm is in the sling. Then throughout the day, it may include a rosary, the divine mercy chaplet, and other prayers. But those aren’t always part of my day.

I was reading a reflection that talks about how we take so much in our lives for granted, that we forget to thank God for the little things. Like the ability to work out, a run in the crisp air right before dawn, a walk through nature, watching the sunrise, spending time with our spouse, our families, our friends. But we also take our faith for granted. The things that we think will always be readily available to us.

Hiking/backpacking is one of my favorite activities

We need to thank God for those things because we may not always be able to work out, run or walk. Someday, we may lose our eyesight. Our spouse, our families, and our friends may not always be around. And our faith is just something that I think we tend to forget about or overlook. I often treat my faith as an afterthought. We fail to attend mass because we’re tired or don’t care for the priest, or don’t want to be bothered. Or maybe we don’t go because we are mad at the Catholic Church (this has happened a lot lately and this is when we need to pray the most). We don’t pray because we don’t have time or don’t think God really hears us. When we do this, when we make excuses; we take our faith for granted. We don’t feed it; we don’t give it an opportunity to grow. And that is really when we need prayer the most.

Looking forward to the backpacking adventures that await us in 2023

It spoke to me because I do take all of those things for granted. I expect to come home everyday and work out. I expect to be able to run on the treadmill whenever I feel so inspired, or take the dogs for walk at a whim. I expect to see the sunrise each morning. I expect that my husband will be there to go on adventures with me. I expect that my family will always be around and that my friends will be available when I most need them. And I expect God to be there always, even when I haven’t talked to him in a very long time. And even though I take my faith for granted, the really beautiful thing is that God will always be there. Especially when we think He isn’t.

So today take time to thank God, be grateful for everything in your life and don’t take anything for granted. And today, please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.

Are You a Good Catholic?

The other day somebody asked me if I thought I was a good Catholic. I kind of laughed and replied, there are some days that I wonder if I am even a good person. I mean, let’s be honest, I am usually a mess of a human being.

I vacillate between selfishness and gratefulness. I am sure everybody does this, but I think I may do it more than most. There are days when I can be thoughtful, can put the needs of others before my own, go out of my way to be kind to others; I want them to feel cared for. Then there are days when I just can’t be bothered. I am completely self-centered, egocentric, and careless about the feelings of others. These are the days when I really don’t give a shit.

I really do want to be that kind, compassionate, caring, empathetic person; that person who embodies the love of Christ. But it is so very challenging. It is so difficult to be that person day in and day out. Maybe that makes me shallow, or fickle, or disingenuous, or unauthentic. I read a passage from Romans last week one day during prayer; “Let love be sincere, hate what is evil, hold on to what is good, love one another with mutual affection, anticipate one another showing mutual honor.” (Romans 12, 9-10).

St. Paul makes it sound so easy. Trying to live that out every day is mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting, but at the same time, it is spiritually renewing. So I have been pondering what exactly this means for me. In fact, it has me contemplating what it means for every person. I am sure that everyone struggles with this in some form, even those who embody Christ in all they do.

We, as broken human beings, take so much in our lives for granted that we forget to thank God for the little things. Like the ability to work out, a run in the crisp air right before dawn, a walk on a nature trail, watching the sunrise, spending time with our spouse, our families, and our friends. But we also take our faith for granted. These are the things that we think will always be readily available to us. We need to thank God for those things because they may not always be available. We may not always be able to work out, run or walk. (I have recently learned that as I recover from foot surgery.) Someday, we may lose our eyesight or our hearing. (I lost my sense of taste and smell during a bout with COVID, trust me when I say that was unsettling.) Our spouse, our families, and our friends may not always be around. And our faith is just something that I think we tend to forget about or overlook. I often treat my faith as an afterthought.

I like to work out. It is one of the ways in which I can be selfish.

We fail to attend mass because we’re tired or don’t care for the priest, or don’t want to be bothered. Or maybe we don’t go because we are mad at the Catholic Church (this is when we need to pray the most). We don’t pray because we don’t have time or don’t think God really hears us. When we do this, when we make excuses; we take our faith for granted. We don’t feed it; we don’t give it an opportunity to grow. And that is really when we need prayer the most.

I, for one, do take all of those things for granted. I expect to come home every day and work out. I expect to be able to run on the treadmill whenever I feel so inspired or take the dogs for a walk at a whim. I expect to see the sunrise each morning. I expect that my husband will be there to go on adventures with me. I expect that my family will always be around and that my friends will be available when I most need them. And I expect God to be there always, even when I haven’t talked to him in a very long time. And even though I take my faith for granted, the really beautiful thing is that God will always be there. Especially when we think He isn’t.

Do these things make me a bad Catholic? No, they make me human. And humans are broken, sinful, and in need of God’s grace every single day. But guess what, God is always there just waiting for us to ask Him for help, to invite Him into our lives, even when we take Him for granted. Even when we forget about Him, even when our faith becomes an afterthought.

So today be grateful for everything in your life and don’t take anything for granted. Thank God for all of the gifts and blessings in your lives, for all of those things that you undervalue and overlook. And know that you are going to mess, up, you are going to make mistakes, some days you might not even feel like you’re a good person, but rest assured, God will always be there for you. And today please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.

Axes, Beer, Hiking, and Joyful Exhaustion

My husband had to wake me up this morning. Let me mention that I usually wake up a good thirty minutes before my actual alarm. So I am normally awake around 5am. But this morning, he came in at 5:29am and asked if I was going to work today. I was startled to say the least, one because he ran into the corner of the bed which kind of shook me awake, and two, because for me, I had effectively over slept.

The over sleeping part has been bothering me all day. I don’t over sleep and I certainly don’t sleep so soundly that I don’t hear my husband when he gets up in the morning. But I guess I was tired, really tired.

We have just come off of a weekend that jam packed with adventure and shenanigans. We began Friday evening with dinner at home, but soon decided to head to a local brewery, Dungeon Hollow, for a beer. Well, one beer turned into two which turned into a tour of brewery, which is in old home that was built in 1806. That turned into a sharing of ghost stories and other adventures. While we were not out all that late, anything after 8pm is late for me.

We returned home around 9pm and I fell asleep in front of the fire with my dog, Ruby, by my side. At some point, I finally got up and went to bed, leaving my husband abandoned in his recliner. He had also fallen asleep. Cue Saturday morning.

We were up fairly early to have breakfast with our 18-year-old son. His treat, he wanted to take us out. So we headed out for breakfast around 8am. That meant I missed morning mass, but I figured God understood and probably even approved of this time together with family.

It was delightful morning. We talked and laughed and really got to spend some meaningful time together. When we parted ways, our son headed to work (he works at a local hardware store) and we headed to Pittsburgh. We went with friends for a day of ax throwing and beer sampling (In that order). It was fantastic day, and I am grateful for the time that we got share with family and friends.

But once again, I was exhausted. We talked about going out that night; there was a band playing at Dungeon Hollow on Saturday evening, but it was raining and I was kind of done with beer for the day. I know that might sound profane to some you who know me well. But it was the truth. So we opted to stay in, order pizza and chill out for the night. Besides, we had another big day planned for Sunday.

We got up early Sunday morning and headed to mass at Holy Rosary. They have an 8:30am mass and we wanted to get an early start. We were headed to Coopers Rock to go leaf peepin’. The day began grey and rainy, and we weren’t entirely sure if the weather would cooperate with our plans to view the leaves and do a little hiking. Our original plans were to take the dogs with us, but the downpours the night before left the ground very wet and muddy. So the girls stayed home, much to their chagrin.

By the time we arrived, the sun had burst through the clouds and it was shaping up to be a gorgeous fall day. It was just about as perfect as you can get. We spent some time on the overlook then hiked a couple of different trails before heading back to the car.

What do we do after hiking, drink beer, of course! We headed to Mountain State Brewing for some beer and pizza (try the Yardsale) before heading back home.

While it was an exhausting weekend, it was quite honestly a perfect weekend. We did little, if any housework – except for a load of laundry here and there. We left the grass unmowed and leaves strewn about yard. We spent time together as a family, we spent time with friends, and we got to enjoy the beauty of God’s creation. It was the best possible way to become exhausted. I wasn’t tired from work, or chores, or errands. I was tired because I had a full weekend with family and friends.

We are all so busy that we don’t really ever seem to get enough quality time with family and friends. When we finally have the time we are usually too tired to do anything meaningful. But this weekend was different. This weekend we made spending time with others a priority. I will take that kind of tiredness, that joyful exhaustion from hanging with family, spending time with friends, going on crazy adventures, sharing stories and toasting beers, any day over the fatigue of work, chores, errands, and general mundane busyness.

Today I am grateful for family, friends, food, axes, beer, hiking, and exhaustion; the kind of joyful exhaustion that comes from living your best life. I hope you have the opportunity to experience joyful exhaustion and that kind of gratitude, too. Today, I hope you live your best life. Please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.

Joy Begins With Thanks

I am in Louisiana. When I travel, I rarely sleep well. Last night was no exception. I awoke no fewer than half a dozen times, and actually had the same nightmare twice. I don’t really know what that means, but I will admit that it was a bit unnerving. And each time I woke up, I had difficulty falling back to sleep, be it a result of said nightmares or the fact that I had a million thoughts racing through my head.

So when my alarm went off this morning to get me up for mass, I was dazed and seriously considered just skipping it today. I mean I am traveling alone, certainly God has no expectation for me to drive to a church I don’t know in a town of which I am not familiar on a Wednesday morning. But I rolled out of bed, showered, got coffee, and went to mass.

I attended mass at St. Clement of Rome in Metairie, Louisiana today and I am so glad that I went. The readings have been from the Book of Jonah. Now I can’t say that I have really paid much attention to the Book of Jonah in the past, but right now, it’s really catching my attention. I mean, Jonah is really kind of jerk when you examine the readings. This is a guy who is mad because God is being merciful to the Ninevites. “Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry that God did not carry out the evil He threatened against Nineveh.” Wow!

The priest at St. Clement gave a wonderful homily on this reading today. He indicated Jonah was miserable and wanted everyone else to miserable with him. He was not grateful for all that Lord had done for him. He was so angry that God did not punish the Ninevites that had failed to see the mercy and grace that God had bestowed upon him as well. Father closed his homily by stating that “gratitude is the key to joy in this life.”

“Gratitude is the key to joy in this life”
-stated during the homily at St. Clement of Rome morning mass 10/9/19

So I don’t think it was any coincidence that when I left mass, I checked my “memories” of Facebook. Exactly one year ago this is what I wrote while traveling with the Reverend Mother in California.

I am wrapping up the book “One Thousand Gifts” by Ann Voskamp, which I highly recommend. I am certain I will have finished it before this week ends. While reading this morning, I came across this one excerpt that has impacted me, “While I may not always feel joy, God asks me to give thanks in all things because He knows that the feeling of joy begins with the action of thanksgiving.” Think about that for a moment and really let it sink in…joy begins with thanks.

Joy begins with thanks.

I have this quote written on a chalk board in my office that says “Before we ask God for anything, we must first thank Him for everything.” I wrote that down early in 2018, when my father was hospitalized and I discovered that my sister had cancer. The beginning of 2018 was a very trying time and I needed that reminder – to be thankful. It was a very difficult period and it was so easy to get angry and discouraged. I certainly didn’t see God’s plan or understand the purpose for those events. I needed to remind myself that I had so much for which to be grateful.

Watching a parent slowly die and knowing that there is nothing you can do about it makes you feel so helpless. Knowing that your sister is fighting a battle that you cannot comprehend makes you feel so small and insignificant. All I could do was pray. I prayed for healing and peace for my sister and I prayed for strength and recovery for my dad.

I remember the day I moved from praying for a full recovery for my dad to praying for a peaceful death. That was the hardest transition I think I may have ever made. I was trying desperately to find the goodness in his suffering. I was not in a place of thanksgiving. I was angry, I was frustrated, I was discouraged, I was questioning, I was depressed. It was not supposed to happen like this. But I continued to pray and in those moments of prayer, I felt a sense of peace, even if it was fleeting. Memories of wonderful times came rushing back to give me comfort.

One memory for which I am thankful, that very last game of gin that I got to play with my dad before he got so sick. It was a grudge match that went on forever. We played it on a hospital tray table at Trinity East where he was in rehab from his hip surgery. We talked and joked and laughed through the whole game. My mom was there too, which makes it even more special. It is a memory that I cherish and one of the last times that we really got to share quality time together.

While I miss him every day, I am thankful for all of the wonderful memories and all his sometimes humorous words of wisdom (especially when watching Wheel of Fortune – don’t buy a vowel, you dummy). And while my sister still has a long road ahead of her, I am grateful that she is on the road to recovery and has essentially beat cancer. But let’s be honest, cancer didn’t stand a chance because my sister is a bad ass.

Blessed Solanus Casey used to say “Thank God ahead of time.” I keep this in the forefront of everything. Today, take time to cherish those special memories that you hold deep in your heart and remember to thank God first. Gratitude is the path to joy. Thank you, Lord, for all that this day has in store.

Please Pray for me and I will continue to pray for you