Tag: #routine

Who knows you the best?     

I attended morning mass yesterday, on the feast of St. Monica in the Father of Mercy Chapel at the Franciscan Sisters TOR Monastery.  With the school year back in full swing, I am finally getting back into my daily mass routine.  Fr. John Bender said mass.  When I saw his name on the mass schedule last week, I could not help but think of John Bender from the Breakfast Club.  I am an 80’s girl, and I could probably recite most of that movie word for word.  But I digress.

John Bender from the Breakfast Club

Fr. John had celebrated mass the previous week (8/22).  And I really enjoyed his homily.  I didn’t think it could get any better, but it did.  Yesterday, he spoke about his work with seminarians.  He stated that one of the first questions he asks new seminarians is, “Who knows you the best?”.  According to Fr. John, most will answer their mother, maybe a grandparent, or God (which he indicated is always correct), but most people never answer themselves.  In the formation of the seminarians, Fr. John gives them a talk about self-knowledge.  He touches on resilience, courage, hope, and, ultimately, love in becoming self-aware.  This homily struck me because that very morning, I was thinking about self-awareness. 

Fr. John Bender

How well do we really know ourselves?  I think I know myself pretty well.  I know that after a day of being outdoors, I will sleep better.  I know that I am not coherent in the morning until I have had a cup of coffee.  I know that when I have to have a difficult conversation or draft a challenging email, I need to stop, pause, take a walk, and then handle that task.  I know that a good workout improves my mood.  I know that when my left eye begins to twitch, I am stressed.  I know that I am more relaxed when I know my son is safe at home after he has been out riding his motorcycle.  I know that unproductive meetings physically drain me. I know that hiking and being in nature is restorative.  I know that I rest better when my husband is asleep next to me.  I know that cooking is a creative outlet, and the kitchen is my canvas.  I know that time with my dogs calms me down when I am fired up.  I know that my day will be more peaceful when I begin it with prayer AND mass.  I also know that I become angry when I can’t control things.  And I have realized that I have become judgmental about things that do not affect me and of which I have no control. 

This last issue was the very thing I was pondering as I drove to mass that morning.  I have noticed that uncharitable thoughts have been entering my mind more often than I care to admit.  But why?  Why was I making judgments about people, places, and situations that I knew nothing about and that had little, if any, impact on me?  That is when I realized that I did not know myself as well as I thought.  I could not pinpoint why this was happening or what was bothering me. 

Photo by Ivan Samkov on Pexels.com

Although I am still discerning this, I do believe part of the cause is a lack of control.  While I am not a control freak, I do like direction, a plan, a course of action, an agenda, and an anticipated outcome.  I want to know what is next, and when things don’t go as planned, I become negative.  When I don’t know what to expect, I get irritated.  I don’t like disruption; I like order.  I don’t like disturbance; I like routine.  I like schedules, strictly followed.  I like plans, shared in advance of an event, meeting, etc. I don’t like last-minute.  I don’t like being late (me or others).  I don’t like winging it.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com

I love the song Roll with the Changes by REO Speedwagon.  However, I realize that I am not good at rolling with the changes.  While I have become more adaptable as I have gotten older, I still prefer predictability.  I have come to realize that I am a creature of habit when it comes to daily routines.  I like my morning coffee, my time to pray and read, my workout time, and morning mass.  I like to come home and walk the dogs.  I like to have my weekly meetings scheduled in advance.  I like to have a meal plan for the week.  I like structure to my life, but I realize that cannot and will not always be possible.  So, I guess I am becoming more self-aware, but only through God’s grace.   

My husband says I am more peaceful and nicer to be around when I attend daily mass.  I know this to be true.  I am better with God.  We all are. 

So today, take a moment to see how well you know yourself, uncover what makes you tick, understand where you find joy, and see how God is related to all of that.  And today, please pray for me, and I will continue to pray for you.

Taken for Granted

Anyone who knows me well knows that a daily workout is a serious part of my life. In fact, my husband can tell the days that I do not workout. I am much grouchier on those days. This is true. I know that and I accept that and I try desperately to work out every day. It is just good for my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. And it is just good for the general well-being of others who have to deal with me.

Ready for a workout

Unfortunately, shoulder surgery has ground my exercise routine to a screeching halt. There is little I can do, other than walk. Depending on the speed and incline, that can even be a challenge. I have started PT, which is primarily assisted PT, but have been told it will be quite some time before I am cleared for other exercises (ie. weight training). Insert big sigh here.

I have lost quite a bit of muscle since surgery

And while my exercise has suffered these last few weeks, my prayer life has flourished. I have had ample time to talk with God, and on some occasions, I may have yelled at Him. My day starts with the Bible app, including the verse of the day and a guided prayer. It continues with reading portions of the bible then a devotional reading (I am currently doing a 21-day devotional on Psalm 91). At one point in my life, I did attend daily morning mass. My current job does not permit that, but does allow me to participate in morning prayer. However, as I am recovering, I am working remotely. I am not permitted to drive while arm is in the sling. Then throughout the day, it may include a rosary, the divine mercy chaplet, and other prayers. But those aren’t always part of my day.

Psalm 91

I was reading a reflection that talks about how we take so much in our lives for granted, that we forget to thank God for the little things. Like the ability to work out, a run in the crisp air right before dawn, a walk through nature, watching the sunrise, spending time with our spouse, our families, our friends. But we also take our faith for granted. The things that we think will always be readily available to us.

Hiking/backpacking is one of my favorite activities

We need to thank God for those things because we may not always be able to work out, run or walk. Someday, we may lose our eyesight. Our spouse, our families, and our friends may not always be around. And our faith is just something that I think we tend to forget about or overlook. I often treat my faith as an afterthought. We fail to attend mass because we’re tired or don’t care for the priest, or don’t want to be bothered. Or maybe we don’t go because we are mad at the Catholic Church (this has happened a lot lately and this is when we need to pray the most). We don’t pray because we don’t have time or don’t think God really hears us. When we do this, when we make excuses; we take our faith for granted. We don’t feed it; we don’t give it an opportunity to grow. And that is really when we need prayer the most.

Looking forward to the backpacking adventures that await us in 2023

It spoke to me because I do take all of those things for granted. I expect to come home everyday and work out. I expect to be able to run on the treadmill whenever I feel so inspired, or take the dogs for walk at a whim. I expect to see the sunrise each morning. I expect that my husband will be there to go on adventures with me. I expect that my family will always be around and that my friends will be available when I most need them. And I expect God to be there always, even when I haven’t talked to him in a very long time. And even though I take my faith for granted, the really beautiful thing is that God will always be there. Especially when we think He isn’t.

So today take time to thank God, be grateful for everything in your life and don’t take anything for granted. And today, please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.