Tag: #expectations

Great Expectations

People will fail you. Throughout your lifetime, every person with whom you are close will fall short in your eyes in some way. This includes your mother and father, sisters and brothers, husbands and wives, sons and daughters, friends and coworkers, priests, pastors, and religious, even acquaintances. Bob Marley is quoted as saying, “The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”  Everyone.  I believe that is 100% accurate. 

Family. We love each other.

I do not say this to be negative, crass, or judgmental. I say it simply because it is true. The sooner this fact is understood and accepted, the better our lives will be. You also need to realize that you play a big role in this equation.  You are part of the reason people will fail you.  In most cases, you are the very reason that people disappoint you.

My newest coworker, of whom I have no expectations and who has no expectations of me.

We are human, all of us.  And we are all different.  Some of us are empathetic (I generally am not), some of us are compassionate (I probably fall short there too), some of us are sympathetic, some of us are generous, some of us are kind, some of us are sentimental, some of us are carefree, some of us are thoughtful; some of us are understanding, and the list goes on.  Everyone has a unique personality; we all react to and handle situations differently.  

There are hundreds of different tests you can take to help identify your personality type, behavioral profile, or how you respond to stimulus.  There are personality tests (like Myers-Briggs), predictive index assessments that determine your work style and how you interact with others, and tests that can tell you how you give and receive love (The 5 Love Languages).  All of these tests are geared at giving us a better understanding of who we are and how we operate.

These are wonderful tools for learning about ourselves.  But no matter how much we learn about our personal qualities, our characteristics, and our behaviors, we all inevitably create expectations for ourselves and others.  So, what about expectations?

We often have great expectations about people, more specifically people who are close to us.  This can include how they should react to a circumstance, what they should say in response to a conversation, or how they should behave in a specific situation. These expectations leave us wondering why someone did not say something that we needed to hear or do something that we would have done if we were in their shoes.  Expecting something to happen will not make it happen.  When reality does not meet our expectations, we are left wondering why.  Therefore, expectations can lead to disappointment.

Listen to the 1993 hit song Hey Jealousy, by the Gin Blossoms.  There is a great line in that song, “if you don’t expect too much from me, you might not be let down.”  We can learn so much from that one line. 

There is also a saying that goes, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”  We tend to harbor resentment when someone does not live up to our expectations.  Expectations are the root cause of why people fail you.  Expectations lead to disappointment.  Expectations can kill relationships.  Expectations. 

My son and his dog. Nevaeh never has any expectations.

While I try not to have expectations of people, I fail daily.  I have to remind myself that expectations rarely have positive outcomes.  They lead to hurt feelings, anger, frustration, disillusionment, and bitterness.  Eventually you are going to be let down.  Eventually you are going to let someone else down, all because of expectations. 

Dogs never let you down.

You know who does not have expectations?  God.  Nothing you do will ever surprise God.  You can never let Him down.  He will never be angry at you or wish that you did something differently. God will just love you.  Incidentally, dogs are the very same way (Is it a coincidence that God spelled backwards is dog? I think not.)

Our most recent rescue – Ruckus

So today, let go of expectations.  Turn your attention to God when those anticipated outcomes begin to fill your head and ask Him for grace, patience, and understanding. Maybe adopt a shelter dog too, you will not be disappointed (unless maybe you have some preconceived notions, i.e.. expectations). And today, please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you. 

Taken for Granted

Anyone who knows me well knows that a daily workout is a serious part of my life. In fact, my husband can tell the days that I do not workout. I am much grouchier on those days. This is true. I know that and I accept that and I try desperately to work out every day. It is just good for my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. And it is just good for the general well-being of others who have to deal with me.

Ready for a workout

Unfortunately, shoulder surgery has ground my exercise routine to a screeching halt. There is little I can do, other than walk. Depending on the speed and incline, that can even be a challenge. I have started PT, which is primarily assisted PT, but have been told it will be quite some time before I am cleared for other exercises (ie. weight training). Insert big sigh here.

I have lost quite a bit of muscle since surgery

And while my exercise has suffered these last few weeks, my prayer life has flourished. I have had ample time to talk with God, and on some occasions, I may have yelled at Him. My day starts with the Bible app, including the verse of the day and a guided prayer. It continues with reading portions of the bible then a devotional reading (I am currently doing a 21-day devotional on Psalm 91). At one point in my life, I did attend daily morning mass. My current job does not permit that, but does allow me to participate in morning prayer. However, as I am recovering, I am working remotely. I am not permitted to drive while arm is in the sling. Then throughout the day, it may include a rosary, the divine mercy chaplet, and other prayers. But those aren’t always part of my day.

Psalm 91

I was reading a reflection that talks about how we take so much in our lives for granted, that we forget to thank God for the little things. Like the ability to work out, a run in the crisp air right before dawn, a walk through nature, watching the sunrise, spending time with our spouse, our families, our friends. But we also take our faith for granted. The things that we think will always be readily available to us.

Hiking/backpacking is one of my favorite activities

We need to thank God for those things because we may not always be able to work out, run or walk. Someday, we may lose our eyesight. Our spouse, our families, and our friends may not always be around. And our faith is just something that I think we tend to forget about or overlook. I often treat my faith as an afterthought. We fail to attend mass because we’re tired or don’t care for the priest, or don’t want to be bothered. Or maybe we don’t go because we are mad at the Catholic Church (this has happened a lot lately and this is when we need to pray the most). We don’t pray because we don’t have time or don’t think God really hears us. When we do this, when we make excuses; we take our faith for granted. We don’t feed it; we don’t give it an opportunity to grow. And that is really when we need prayer the most.

Looking forward to the backpacking adventures that await us in 2023

It spoke to me because I do take all of those things for granted. I expect to come home everyday and work out. I expect to be able to run on the treadmill whenever I feel so inspired, or take the dogs for walk at a whim. I expect to see the sunrise each morning. I expect that my husband will be there to go on adventures with me. I expect that my family will always be around and that my friends will be available when I most need them. And I expect God to be there always, even when I haven’t talked to him in a very long time. And even though I take my faith for granted, the really beautiful thing is that God will always be there. Especially when we think He isn’t.

So today take time to thank God, be grateful for everything in your life and don’t take anything for granted. And today, please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.