The other day somebody asked me if I thought I was a good Catholic. I kind of laughed and replied, there are some days that I wonder if I am even a good person. I mean, let’s be honest, I am usually a mess of a human being.
I vacillate between selfishness and gratefulness. I am sure everybody does this, but I think I may do it more than most. There are days when I can be thoughtful, can put the needs of others before my own, go out of my way to be kind to others; I want them to feel cared for. Then there are days when I just can’t be bothered. I am completely self-centered, egocentric, and careless about the feelings of others. These are the days when I really don’t give a shit.
I really do want to be that kind, compassionate, caring, empathetic person; that person who embodies the love of Christ. But it is so very challenging. It is so difficult to be that person day in and day out. Maybe that makes me shallow, or fickle, or disingenuous, or unauthentic. I read a passage from Romans last week one day during prayer; “Let love be sincere, hate what is evil, hold on to what is good, love one another with mutual affection, anticipate one another showing mutual honor.” (Romans 12, 9-10).
St. Paul makes it sound so easy. Trying to live that out every day is mentally, emotionally, and physically exhausting, but at the same time, it is spiritually renewing. So I have been pondering what exactly this means for me. In fact, it has me contemplating what it means for every person. I am sure that everyone struggles with this in some form, even those who embody Christ in all they do.
We, as broken human beings, take so much in our lives for granted that we forget to thank God for the little things. Like the ability to work out, a run in the crisp air right before dawn, a walk on a nature trail, watching the sunrise, spending time with our spouse, our families, and our friends. But we also take our faith for granted. These are the things that we think will always be readily available to us. We need to thank God for those things because they may not always be available. We may not always be able to work out, run or walk. (I have recently learned that as I recover from foot surgery.) Someday, we may lose our eyesight or our hearing. (I lost my sense of taste and smell during a bout with COVID, trust me when I say that was unsettling.) Our spouse, our families, and our friends may not always be around. And our faith is just something that I think we tend to forget about or overlook. I often treat my faith as an afterthought.
We fail to attend mass because we’re tired or don’t care for the priest, or don’t want to be bothered. Or maybe we don’t go because we are mad at the Catholic Church (this is when we need to pray the most). We don’t pray because we don’t have time or don’t think God really hears us. When we do this, when we make excuses; we take our faith for granted. We don’t feed it; we don’t give it an opportunity to grow. And that is really when we need prayer the most.
I, for one, do take all of those things for granted. I expect to come home every day and work out. I expect to be able to run on the treadmill whenever I feel so inspired or take the dogs for a walk at a whim. I expect to see the sunrise each morning. I expect that my husband will be there to go on adventures with me. I expect that my family will always be around and that my friends will be available when I most need them. And I expect God to be there always, even when I haven’t talked to him in a very long time. And even though I take my faith for granted, the really beautiful thing is that God will always be there. Especially when we think He isn’t.
Do these things make me a bad Catholic? No, they make me human. And humans are broken, sinful, and in need of God’s grace every single day. But guess what, God is always there just waiting for us to ask Him for help, to invite Him into our lives, even when we take Him for granted. Even when we forget about Him, even when our faith becomes an afterthought.
So today be grateful for everything in your life and don’t take anything for granted. Thank God for all of the gifts and blessings in your lives, for all of those things that you undervalue and overlook. And know that you are going to mess, up, you are going to make mistakes, some days you might not even feel like you’re a good person, but rest assured, God will always be there for you. And today please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.
Tattoos, Motorcycles, Beer, Bourbon and Faith 