My husband went back to work on Monday, August 21st. He is a teacher. His return to work effectively ended the Summer of Jen. If you’re a Seinfeld fan, you know what that means, as it parallels The Summer of George. The episode, The Summer of George, was the 156th episode and last episode of season 8. George lost his job with the Yankees and effectively took three months off, never changing out of his pajamas and never leaving his apartment.
August 23rd marked three months since I separated from my previous job. And while I did not spend those three months in my pajamas, I got outside at every opportunity, I enjoyed the Summer of Jen. I spent three glorious months learning what retirement might be like. My husband and I spent as much time in nature as we possibly could. We filled our days with fishing, hiking, and backpacking. We took time to seek out obscure landmarks and hidden local gems. We spent evenings by the campfire, beneath the stars. We planted a huge garden and cooked together, smoking all kinds of meats, mastering the art of curing bacon and trying our hand at canning. We foraged berries and mushrooms, spent more time reading, and took the dogs on countless walks. While we had to dial back some things because I was, in fact, unemployed, it was one of the best summers ever. The Summer of Jen was a summer of freedom. We had no constraints. My husband was off for the summer, and I have been off indefinitely as I continue to search for my next great adventure.
We woke early most days, began our mornings with prayer, reading, walking or rucking, then brunch. On the mornings we went fishing; we headed out a bit earlier and enjoyed sandwiches on the boat. The days we hiked were similar to the days we fished; the days we went on other adventures almost always involved a late breakfast, usually omelets, but sometimes something more elaborate. It was a summer of no schedules, no rules. It was a summer of bliss. We even determined that we would be able to survive retirement together.
I am extremely grateful for the Summer of Jen. I needed that time to reset, to relax, and to learn to appreciate everything that life throws at you, even the things that you may not have wanted but desperately needed.
If I am being honest, I was lying to myself about how wonderful my last job was. It wasn’t wonderful, it was life-sucking, and I was miserable, but I didn’t actually know it. My husband has commented on how happy I have been these past few months. I am beyond happy, I am joyful. And surprisingly, not fearful or worried about the future. I know I eventually have to return to the workforce, but I have been taking this time to figure out who I really am and who I want to be. It is almost like a period of invention or rediscovery.
I have spent most of my career in the fundraising world, and while I have thoroughly enjoyed that work, maybe it’s time for a change or maybe it isn’t. That’s what I have been trying to discern these past few weeks. I have been trying to hear God’s voice and understand his direction for my life. I have been getting a strong sense that I am supposed to “come home,” but I am not sure where “home” is.
Then this morning, I woke up groggy. I packed my husband’s lunch for work and sat down to read. (I am currently reading Miracle in Darien). About 30 minutes into reading, I had this strong sense that I should get ready and go to the 8am mass at Blessed Sacrament. As I sat waiting for the service to begin, I again got a strong sense of needing to “come home.” I was reflecting on this “feeling” as mass began, unsure of what it meant.
Mass started. Deacon Bob gave a great homily tying the first and second readings together on this Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross. Little did I know that this mass was being offered for my Dad. When the petitions were read, that is when I discovered the intention of the mass. It was a bit overwhelming because of how I actually ended up at mass in the first place.
And while I still don’t know what I am supposed to do next and am not really sure what “come home” means, I do know that I was supposed to be at mass this morning and that God is doing something in my life. Until it is clear to me what that next step is, I will continue to trust in God’s providence for my life. I will continue to enjoy this break. Although the Summer of Jen has officially come to an end, the sabbatical, the rediscovery, the reinvention is still in process. I will continue to find joy in the change and uncertainty.
I hope if you are dealing with uncertainty, with change, or even with challenges, you are able to find the joy and find your path. Until then, please pray for me, and I will continue to pray for you.
Tattoos, Motorcycles, Beer, Bourbon and Faith 