Tag: #Seinfeld

The Summer of Jen

My husband went back to work on Monday, August 21st.  He is a teacher.  His return to work effectively ended the Summer of Jen.  If you’re a Seinfeld fan, you know what that means, as it parallels The Summer of George.  The episode, The Summer of George, was the 156th episode and last episode of season 8. George lost his job with the Yankees and effectively took three months off, never changing out of his pajamas and never leaving his apartment. 

August 23rd marked three months since I separated from my previous job. And while I did not spend those three months in my pajamas, I got outside at every opportunity, I enjoyed the Summer of Jen. I spent three glorious months learning what retirement might be like. My husband and I spent as much time in nature as we possibly could. We filled our days with fishing, hiking, and backpacking. We took time to seek out obscure landmarks and hidden local gems. We spent evenings by the campfire, beneath the stars. We planted a huge garden and cooked together, smoking all kinds of meats, mastering the art of curing bacon and trying our hand at canning. We foraged berries and mushrooms, spent more time reading, and took the dogs on countless walks. While we had to dial back some things because I was, in fact, unemployed, it was one of the best summers ever. The Summer of Jen was a summer of freedom. We had no constraints. My husband was off for the summer, and I have been off indefinitely as I continue to search for my next great adventure.

We woke early most days, began our mornings with prayer, reading, walking or rucking, then brunch.  On the mornings we went fishing; we headed out a bit earlier and enjoyed sandwiches on the boat.  The days we hiked were similar to the days we fished; the days we went on other adventures almost always involved a late breakfast, usually omelets, but sometimes something more elaborate.  It was a summer of no schedules, no rules.  It was a summer of bliss.  We even determined that we would be able to survive retirement together. 

I am extremely grateful for the Summer of Jen.  I needed that time to reset, to relax, and to learn to appreciate everything that life throws at you, even the things that you may not have wanted but desperately needed. 

If I am being honest, I was lying to myself about how wonderful my last job was.  It wasn’t wonderful, it was life-sucking, and I was miserable, but I didn’t actually know it.  My husband has commented on how happy I have been these past few months.  I am beyond happy, I am joyful.  And surprisingly, not fearful or worried about the future.  I know I eventually have to return to the workforce, but I have been taking this time to figure out who I really am and who I want to be.  It is almost like a period of invention or rediscovery. 

I helped my son with some home improvement projects during my time off.

I have spent most of my career in the fundraising world, and while I have thoroughly enjoyed that work, maybe it’s time for a change or maybe it isn’t.  That’s what I have been trying to discern these past few weeks.  I have been trying to hear God’s voice and understand his direction for my life. I have been getting a strong sense that I am supposed to “come home,” but I am not sure where “home” is. 

Food
Dogs
Family
This is Home
to me.

Then this morning, I woke up groggy.  I packed my husband’s lunch for work and sat down to read.  (I am currently reading Miracle in Darien).  About 30 minutes into reading, I had this strong sense that I should get ready and go to the 8am mass at Blessed Sacrament. As I sat waiting for the service to begin, I again got a strong sense of needing to “come home.”  I was reflecting on this “feeling” as mass began, unsure of what it meant.  

Mass started.  Deacon Bob gave a great homily tying the first and second readings together on this Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross. Little did I know that this mass was being offered for my Dad.  When the petitions were read, that is when I discovered the intention of the mass.  It was a bit overwhelming because of how I actually ended up at mass in the first place. 

And while I still don’t know what I am supposed to do next and am not really sure what “come home” means, I do know that I was supposed to be at mass this morning and that God is doing something in my life.  Until it is clear to me what that next step is, I will continue to trust in God’s providence for my life. I will continue to enjoy this break.  Although the Summer of Jen has officially come to an end, the sabbatical, the rediscovery, the reinvention is still in process. I will continue to find joy in the change and uncertainty. 

I hope if you are dealing with uncertainty, with change, or even with challenges, you are able to find the joy and find your path.  Until then, please pray for me, and I will continue to pray for you.

Believe – Binge Watching Ink Master

The COVID19 pandemic and the shelter in place order has stretched on for weeks now. I believe we are in the middle of our ninth week. During this time, I have worked from home, which has actually been quite productive. In my free time, I walk the dogs, work out, read, do yardwork, plan our family dinners, clean, and pray. I rarely watch TV. All of my friends are binge watching different series on Netflix and I have no idea what they are talking about.

Taking COVID precautions at a follow-up doctor’s visit

Don’t get me wrong, I like television.  I love to watch Chopped on the Food Network and Ink Master on Paramount or reruns of sitcoms like Seinfeld.  However, most of the tv shows I like are not available on-demand, like American Dreams (Remember that show?), Party of Five, or Parenthood.  No matter, though, because I have all of those series on DVD.  I also have The Brady Bunch and Facts of Life…don’t judge me.

But a couple of weeks ago, as my husband and I were talking about our next tattoos, I suggested that we watch the Ink Master series and all of its spin-offs from the beginning.  On that particular day, the weather was crappy, we were kind of tired, and just didn’t feel like doing too much.  And thus began our journey into binge watching.  We typically watch approximately 3 episodes in the evening and we are already up to season five.

Binge watching with a cup of Earl Grey tea

On Sunday May 16, we settled in to watch season 5 episode 12, which featured Deangelo Williams, whose mother and aunts all died of breast cancer.  The show was a tribute to breast cancer survivors.  Obviously, this episode touched me personally.  All the women receiving tattoos were breast cancer survivors who had had mastectomies.  They were getting the area of the mastectomy tattooed (this is something that I would like to have done when my surgeries are complete).  Also, during the episode, the tattoo artists had to design a tribute tattoo for Deangelo in honor/memory of his mother.  The winning designer got to tattoo him.  (Cleen Rock One had the winning design and gave Deangelo the tattoo). The thing that struck me the hardest was the evening that we were watching it was the same day Deangelo William’s mother passed away from breast cancer – May 16th.  Now what are the odds that I would watch that episode on that day?  I am actually getting goosebumps as I type this.

I never thought I would have a tattoo, let alone eight of them.  Yes, eight.  The most recent (and the shortest tattoo session I might add) is the word, “Believe”.  It is on my left forearm.  I never thought I would have a tattoo in that location, but I do.  I always worried about being able to cover them up, because what would people think?  I am learning not to really care what other people think.  If they are going to judge me because I have tattoos (and ride a motorcycle), then I probably don’t want to be friends with them anyway. Every tattoo I have means something, tells some part of my story.  Deangelo Williams said the same thing about his tattoos – they tell the story of his life. I like that.

Believe is something that I have wanted to get for a long time.  Believe is the word that Harry Houdini used whenever things got challenging or difficult or seemed impossible.  In fact, BELIEVE was the secret message that he devised with his wife to test spiritualist seances should he or she die.  It is a word that means a lot to me.  I had that word printed on the back of t-shirts that I had made for my softball players back in 2011, when our season was extremely challenging.  But it has taken on an even greater importance after dealing with breast cancer.  My husband and I refer to “believe” often when things are troublesome in our own lives.  He surprised me and got the very same tattoo on his right forearm.  When we hold hands, the tattoos face each other.  (Yes, he is a keeper, I already know.)

My tattoo

While 2020 has been a strange and challenging year, 2019 was the year that really tested my faith and made me question my belief in God.  It was a tumultuous year, and when I thought it really couldn’t get any worse, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. It was then that “believe” meant something more.  My faith and my belief in God using everything for the greater good, that is the “believe” that got me through. 

I’m not going to lie, during the whole year of 2019, I argued with God, bargained with Him, got angry with Him, questioned Him, and even cursed Him, but I never stopped believing in Him and His infinite goodness.  I don’t understand why that particular year was such a shit-show, but it was.  But it was wrapped in grace and mercy, and so much good came from it. The “Believe” tattoo is a reminder of all that I have overcome because I did “believe”, and will continue to remind me to believe in God, in myself, in the goodness and kindness of others, in love, in faith, in purpose, in friendship, in that truth -that all things work together for good for those who love God (Romans 8:28). 

Romans 8:28

So today, believe, regardless of the circumstance, and have faith that you are right where you are meant to be. And please pray for me as I will continue to pray for you.