#Moses – Tattoos, Motorcycles, Beer, Bourbon and Faith

40 Years – St. John of God

I am constantly amazed that it took me over forty years to really discover God, to embrace my faith, and to realize the power of prayer. Over forty years. (Makes me think of Moses.) That’s essentially half of my lifetime.

I often think about what I was doing for that first half of my life, how I was living, how I treated people, what my thoughts were, what I believed, and what I didn’t believe, and I wonder why it took God so long to open my eyes. Then today, I read about St. John of God. Today is his memorial.

As a child, John was kidnapped (or ran away from home, depending on which text you read). He was at one time homeless, became a shepherd, then served in the army. In his early life, St. John of God turned away from the Lord, but he returned to God and received God’s mercy in his forties. The closing line of a reflection that I read about St. John of God is as follows; “He saw that in his early life, he had turned away from the Lord, and, moved to receive his mercy, John began his new commitment to love others in openness to God’s love.” St. John of God is the patron saint of Booksellers, Firefighters, Heart Patients, Hospitals, Nurses, Printers, and the Sick.

“He saw that in his early life, he had turned away from the Lord, and, moved to receive his mercy, John began his new commitment to love others in openness to God’s love.”
Reflection about St. John of God

Again, I am amazed at how God speaks to me in ways that He probably has all along, but I have been too distracted to hear Him. I have been thinking quite a bit about how long it has taken me to dig more deeply into my faith and wondering why it has taken so long for that journey to begin. And then I read about St. John of God and the fact that he was 40 when he returned to God.

Live in faith and hope, though it be in darkness, for in this darkness God protects the soul. Cast your care upon God for you are His and He will not forget you. Do not think that He is leaving you alone, for that would be to wrong Him.
John of the Cross

What I am realizing through all of this is that: 1. it is never too late to begin your journey of faith, 2. it doesn’t matter what your past has been like; God is waiting for you to return to Him, 3. you have to be open to God in order to hear Him, 4. prayer is very powerful, and you don’t realize how powerful until you actually start praying, 5. everything happens in God’s time, not ours.

In sorrow and suffering, go straight to God with confidence, and you will be strengthened, enlightened and instructed.
John of the Cross

No matter where you are on your journey of faith, maybe you haven’t even begun; just remember, it is never too late. God is waiting for you to reach out to Him, to talk to Him, and to listen to Him…whenever you are ready.

So today, reach out and be open to having God in your life. And today, please pray for me, and I will continue to pray for you.

On the Verge

I wasn’t feeling so great on Friday morning, August 9^th. In fact, I was feeling so poorly that I slept through my first 2 alarms. (I wear a Fitbit and I typically get up before 5am). So at 5:50am, when I rolled over and opened my eyes, I was shocked to realize it was almost 6am! I didn’t get up at 4:45am to walk the dogs. I don’t even remember that alarm going off, but obviously it did and I simply turned it off. I do remember the 5:30am alarm going off, I remember turning it off and I remember thinking that it was my 5am alarm. Then 20 minutes later, reality set it.

I rolled myself out of bed, completely groggy and disoriented, and headed for the kitchen. Surely a cup of coffee will bring some clarity. When I finally had control of all of my facilities, I realized there was no way I was making it to the 7am mass at Holy Rosary or even the 7:15am mass at the Monastery. So I decided to have a leisurely morning and attend the 8am mass at Holy Family, my home parish.

The cause of my ailment had nothing to do with imbibing too much the evening before, although it might sound like that was the case. In reality, it was the hot wings. In celebrating my husband’s 5oth birthday, we over indulged in hot wings, Drover’s hot wings to be precise.

Anybody who is from the local tristate area knows that Drover’s Inn has the best hot wings. So to celebrate 50 years of life, we ate like we were 21; suicidal hot wings, hurt me hot wings, brew city bottle caps (fried jalapeno slices – for those who don’t know) and seasoned fries with cheese and Cajun seasoning. And yes, we washed those down with a couple of beers. Our son was the smart one and our designated driver; he ordered honey BBQ wings, fried ravioli, and waffle fries with cheese and bacon. While we all over indulged, he kept the heat at bay. And we followed dinner up with birthday cake, a Nancy Cake, as we call it. My friend Nancy makes the best cakes.

So needless to say, in the morning, I was not feeling great. The gluttony of the night before was definitely affecting my Friday morning ability to function. But I managed to get out of bed, have coffee, shower, and get ready for the day. The weather was beautiful, so I decided to ride my motorcycle to mass. I left around 7am. And let’s just say the ride was serendipitous.

First of all, as I mentioned, the weather was perfect. It was such a beautiful morning; there was a slight crispness to the air, the sun had just come up and the sky was a beautiful shade of blue with hues of light purple and pink. It was a fairly quiet and uncongested morning commute. But secondly, the real beauty of the ride was that I did not hit one single red light on the approximate 8 mile ride from my home to my parish. Not a single one! I know this sounds silly, or maybe it doesn’t, but it was something that I noticed and something for which I was grateful. It made for such a nice ride.

As I pulled into the parking lot, I was only the second person at the church. Within moments of parking my bike, a friend who attends the daily mass arrived and we talked for a few moments. It was nice to catch up, because while we see each other often, we don’t always talk.

I got into church, sat down and began morning prayer. I typically follow-up morning prayer by reading the reflections from “The Word Among Us” booklet and the “Living Faith” daily Catholic devotions. If time allows, I read the daily prayer, daily reflection and saint of the day on the Laudate app on my phone. I arrived so early today, that I had an opportunity to spend some serious time in prayer.

The reflection from Laudate really spoke to me, and called to mind a friend for whom I offered a special prayer and actually shared the reflection with her. That’s not something a would normally do, but I felt like I needed to. I am trying to break away from those things that I would normally do or not do and push myself out of my comfort zone a little…remembering, that when God wants us to grow, he makes us uncomfortable.

The reflection talked about being on the verge of something and I thought, “wow, how timely is this”. We are approaching a new school year; my son is beginning college and my husband will get a whole new class of students (he’s a teacher), and I am now working for the Catholic school system. It stems from Moses being on the verge of ushering his people into the promised land. But Moses stops the people “on the verge” of crossing into the land of milk and honey. Why? To remind them of all the Lord had done for them. To remind them to be grateful and to remain faithful to God’s promises for them.

We are all on the verge of new experiences, each and every one of us. And while all of this is wonderful and exciting and hopefully we are approaching these “new experiences” with great anticipation, let’s not forget that God has a hand in all of this. God is in this with us – always. Let’s make sure we are making time for God in our daily lives. Whether it’s a short prayer, daily mass, time reading scriptures, reading reflections, keeping a prayer journal, or simply thanking God daily for the little things – like green lights all the way to mass – make sure to keep God with you “on the verge”. Have a Blessed Sunday. Please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.

Trust

I attended mass on Wednesday morning August 8th, but must admit that I was a bit unfocused. So much so that I really didn’t remember what Father’s homily was about, nor could I recall the reading or the gospel from the mass.

I had a lot on my mind. You see, Wednesday was my husband’s 50th birthday. 50! I remember celebrating my own father’s 50th birthday in 1981. It was when my mother came into the Catholic church. I have vague memories of celebrating his birthday in our kitchen. Friends of my parents were there, I think there may have been some adult beverages. I was 9 years old at the time.

When I was 9 years old, somebody who was 50 was, well, old. Heck, somebody who was in their 20’s was old. I mean these people were adults. They did “big people” stuff. They could basically do whatever they want. They could eat what they want, stay out as long as they want, go to bed when they want, they didn’t have to go to school, and they really didn’t have any one they had to answer to (or so I thought). In my 9-year-old mind, being a “big person” seemed awesome! Then I actually became a “big person”, aka, an adult.

It’s funny how your perception of things changes as you, yourself, get older. You realize that the fantasy of being an adult and the reality of being an adult are drastically different. You realize that 50 really isn’t old at all – in fact, let’s just call it middle age. You realize as you get older that while there is more freedom, there is also more responsibility. It’s really not all it’s cracked up to be.

As children, we put complete trust in our parents to care for us, to provide for our needs, to keep us safe, and to look out for our best interests. As we get older, we become more independent and want to make those decisions, (what we want, want we think we need, how we spend our time and what is in our best interest) for ourselves. That’s great, that is part of growing up, that is part of the maturity process, that is necessary to become a self-sufficient adult. At times, we even dis-trust that our parents actually want what is best for us (think back to your late teens and early 20’s). But eventually, we find ourselves longing for those days when things were easier, when there were few responsibilities and burdens, when somebody took care of us.

That’s where yesterday’s reading comes in. Moses (and Aaron) didn’t fully trust God to provide for them. I guess after decades of wandering around in the desert my trust would have waned, too. But Moses had this pretty intimate relationship with God. And God did provide for them, just not always in the manner in which the Israelites thought He should. In the reading, they and their livestock were parched and God provided water from a rock. During a reading earlier in the week He provided manna when they were hungry. Pretty amazing stuff! God provides, we just don’t always see it. The beauty is that God’s faithfulness is not limited by our sins. But sometimes we think it is because we don’t get what we want or what we expect.

Moses’ (and the Israelites) relationship with God is a lot like our relationships with our parents from childhood to adulthood. Think about it. We need our parents to take care of us and they do, but as time passes we don’t think they are doing a good enough job and rebuke their efforts. The Israelites needed God to lead them out of Egypt, provide food and drink, and protect them on their journey, but eventually they became indignant and grumbled about the “care” that God was providing for them. It wasn’t good enough. They became disobedient and were not faithful to God, they did not trust in God’s provision. Children go through a similar process trying to navigate their way into adulthood; we become disobedient and willful, not trusting that our parents want what is best for us. But God is always faithful and our parents are always there for us – no matter what.

For me, my own relationship with God is a lot like this. As a child, my faith was strong. In fact, in the 1st grade I thought maybe I would be a sister someday. I am sure Sr. Marcia – my 1st grade teacher – may have had some influence on that thought process. At some point in my teens, I decided I didn’t need God. I would be fine on my own, I could handle things better without the confines of religion. This was my desert. And while I didn’t wander in that desert for 40 years, I was pretty close. More than three decades had passed before I realized that something was missing.

I have learned that there aren’t confines to Christianity, Catholicism, faith; that is where the real freedom lies. We have free will to choose. And even though I am an adult and I think I am self-sufficient, I am not. I need God. He is always there to shoulder the burden and lighten the load if we ask Him to. But He has to be asked, He waits to be invited, He doesn’t intrude. That again, is free will and demonstrates His respect for and of our choices. He lets us decide if we want to have a relationship with Him or not. He gives us the choice to invite Him into our lives or push Him out. Kind of like earthly parents do as their child grows up. Our parents are there to care for us when we are most vulnerable, but as we grow and exert our independence, they back off and relinquish control. Then they wait to be invited back into our lives to help us when we need them.

So this weekend, if you are blessed enough to still have your parents, call your Mom and say thank you for being there for you. Hug your Dad and let him know that you appreciate how he provided for you growing up. Trust that God is working for your good. And if you haven’t invited God into your life, maybe open that door just a crack and let Him step in. You might be surprised by what that invitation can do. And please continue to pray from me and I will pray for you. Have a wonderful weekend!