Tag: relationships

Jet Trails, Saturday Afternoon Walks, and Beauty

I took the dogs for a walk on Saturday afternoon, just like I have been doing everyday since we have initiated “shelter in place” in Ohio in the midst of COVID-19. With four dogs, I have to split the walks into two shifts.  Eve and Charlie get the first walk, then I return home and make the exchange.  Ruby and Bailey get the second walk.  During those walks, I pray a rosary and a Divine Mercy Chaplet. 

Tired dogs after their walk.

If you were out in eastern Ohio on Saturday afternoon, you know just how beautiful the day was.  I spent most of those walks appreciating the beauty that was awakening all around me.  The trees are beginning to bud and the daffodils have bloomed in full force.  The forsythia is beginning to flower (I have a love/hate relationship with that plant) and the hyacinths have opened.  And the sky, the sky was the color of sapphires.  There were no jet trails streaking across the vast blue, no pollution making crisscrossed marks through the heavens.  The skies were clear and azure with some puffy white clouds dotting God’s vast canvas.

jet trails crossing the sky before COVID-19

It was in that moment that realized just how busy our lives have become, how filled with self-importance. So much so that we fail to notice the beauty that is all around, or maybe we notice it but just take it for granted.    

I walk a lot, and most of the time it is with my dogs.  And although I am normally praying while I am walking, I often get distracted by other things.  Thoughts will creep into my mind about work, or family, or relationships; about the political climate and the division within our society, or about a thousand other random thoughts that enter my mind.  I become preoccupied and consumed by those thoughts, lose track of what I am doing and fail to notice the beauty that is all around me.

With the onset of COVID-19, the shelter in place and the stay at home order, everyone has been forced to slow down – whether they want to or not.  Schools are closed until May.  All non-essential businesses have been closed.  There are no masses or Sunday services. The banks are operating as drive-thru banking only.  Restaurants are closed for dine-in options, but you can still get to-go orders.  There are fewer cars on the roadways, and rush hour is no more. The lack of jet trails shows us just how things have changed in the US.  Air traffic has become virtually non-existent.  And to think a few weeks ago, most of us could not live without traveling somewhere by plane. 

I am an advancement professional, so travel is a big part of what I do.  But all travel has been put on hold.  We are to practice social distancing, not to congregate in groups outside of our family structure (that is family living within the same household), and only go out of the house for essentials.  Somehow, we have all learned how to adjust to these changes.  We are meeting virtually, making more phone calls, sending more emails.  Yes, it is challenging. For some it is very challenging as they may be facing unemployment during this time.   Or they may be an “essential” employee who is required to report to work daily even with the threat of the coronavirus.  The uncertainty of all of it is stressful.

My new co-worker

But we have seen some really beautiful things as a result of the situation in our country. And I am not just talking about the beauty of spring unfolding before us and finally having the time to appreciate it. I’m talking about community and family. Neighbors checking on each other. People donating to strangers to help them through these unsure times. Virtual gatherings to help keep people connected. Healthcare workers volunteering to go serve in areas that have been hardest hit. Families taking daily walks and bike rides together. Teachers calling to check up on their students. More dinners together around the table. Real conversations. Prayer.

Sleepy puppy. Walks wear her out..

As I walked the dogs again today, I reflected once more on the lack of jet trails and wondered if it was really necessary.  All of the travel, all of the time commitments and time constraints, all of the things that we fill our lives with that seem to be so important.  Somehow, we are getting by without jetting across the country for a meeting.  We have learned how to do our jobs remotely. We can see the value of a meaningful phone call and genuine conversation and know the importance of a simple text message.  We have slowed down and learned to appreciate each other.  And hopefully we have learned to appreciate all of those “essential” people that we take for granted on a daily basis, the local small business owners, the retail workers, store clerks and gas station attendants, the truck drivers and farmers, the doctors, nurses and healthcare professionals; all of those essential employees that still have to go into work so we have what we need to live.

It may sound strange, but in this crisis, I have found a joy and peace that seems strange.  The slower pace, the quieter atmosphere, the return to home and family, the way people are looking out for each other and helping each other out; it has been reassuring to me about the goodness and kindness that exists in all humanity. Unfortunately, it has taken a pandemic for so many of us to stop, slow down and see each other. 

Spring sunset

It does make me wonder what will happen when all of this is resolved.  Will we go back to the breakneck pace that we were living?  Will we fill our lives once again with meaningless nonsense and lose sight of all that is truly important?  Will we stop praying and throw God out of our lives once again? Or will we remember the kindness and gratitude we showed to each other? Will we continue to check on each other and build meaningful relationships with one another?  Will we continue to pray for and with one another and connect regardless of distance?

It is my hope that we all learn something from this pandemic and be better than we were before it began.  So today, let’s continue to slow down, reach out, help one another, say thank you, connect with each other, and praise God.  And as always, please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.

Cancer as a Blessing

The past few weeks have been a whirl wind of phone calls, doctor’s appointments, tests, meetings with medical professionals, paperwork, questionnaires, insurance inquiries, etc.  It has been quite overwhelming but it has also been extremely blessed. 

It is funny how a cancer diagnosis changes things.  I realize that is a gross understatement, and I am sure most people immediately think that it changes things in a negative way.  And while the initial diagnosis threw me for a loop and caused me to immediately focus on all of the things I had not yet done, all of the things still I wanted to do and on my family and how this was going to impact them, as the reality set in, so did the blessings. 

You see this year has been an intense series of ups and downs in my life.  A number of things have occurred which I had not been expecting and they have been peppered in throughout the entire year.  The year began with some really bad colds, which progressed into some other health concerns.  That was just the beginning.  Then I lost my job, wasn’t able to collect unemployment, and wasn’t really sure if I wanted to continue on my current career path. 

Cue the most supportive husband in the world.  He stepped up, taking on more consulting work, so that I could figure my stuff out.  He even encouraged me to consider some other options, asking “what would you do if you could anything you wanted?”  I could not answer that question. 

I have done fundraising and advancement work for over 20 years.  While it definitely has it challenges and can be draining, it is incredibly rewarding.  I love meeting people and hearing their stories, learning what they are passionate about, and building meaningful relationships.  I have gained so many friends through my work, I cannot imagine doing anything else.  And these are friendships that have continued even after the jobs have ended.  So when the opportunity came for me to return to my alma mater to lead their advancement efforts, I accepted the challenge. 

When I lost my job in May, I was sad, depressed and a little bitter.  I had truly loved that position and could not understand why God would take that joy from me.  I really didn’t get it and was really angry about the whole situation.  I had intended to retire from that position – that is how much I loved what I was doing and for whom I was working.  But God had other plans, other plans that I really didn’t understand until just a couple of weeks ago. 

I was offered my current position in June and began in July.  One of my first orders of business was to reconnect, re-engage and partner with our high school alumni.  So I made a phone call to a gentleman with whom my brother had graduated in an effort to plan a regional event and reach out to others.  That phone call resulted in connecting with others who would help plan the event. Eventually we had a dinner meeting to discuss options.  The reason I share all of this is that it is because of those interactions that I have formed new friendships (with my brother’s friends) that would not have otherwise occurred had it not been for losing my job and accepting my current position.

One of those friendships happens to be with a Nurse Practitioner with whom I shared my diagnosis.  After the initial diagnosis, I wasn’t able to get in to the Cleveland Clinic to get a second opinion, so I accepted that as a sign that I should just move forward with the initial plan of action for treatment.  When I shared my diagnosis with my friend, she encouraged me to get a second opinion.  And not just a second opinion but a second opinion from one of the leading cancer hospitals in the country, The James at OSU. I’ll admit that initially I was bit apprehensive.  I just wanted to trudge on through and take care of this “stuff” now.  But after much discussion with her and my husband, we decided that a second opinion was a good idea.  And had it not been for this new friendship, I would have never considered going to the The James nor would I have been able to schedule the appointments.  She did so much for me, and she probably doesn’t even realize it. 

This is why I say, God knew what He was doing back in April.  When I thought my life was completely unraveling, God was behind the scenes planning it all out.  I could go into great detail about how all of this unfolded to demonstrate just how God has worked through all of the things that I thought (at the time) were going to cause me to come undone.  About how the cancer was discovered, really through a fluke, about how friendships have grown out of this illness, about how people come into your life for a reason (and sometimes you might never know what that reason is), about how kindness spills out when you least expect it but need it the most, about each of the blessings that came from what I thought initially were curses.  There is so much I could share, but I won’t.  (That could actually become a book.) 

What I will tell you is that this cancer diagnosis, even with all of the still unknowns, has been a blessing.  A real blessing.  Who knew that it could be, I certainly didn’t think that before, but it really has been.  It has revealed to me all of the wonderful people in my life, it has shown me an incredible amount of love and kindness, it has formed new friendships and strengthen old relationships, it has taught me that I have everything I need, it has made me realize how much I actually take for granted and it has made me rely more on my faith and place my trust in God. 

In the first few days after my diagnosis, I was angry and depressed.  I couldn’t understand why God would now give me this.  I sat in the Father of Mercy Chapel at the Franciscan Sisters Monastery and asked God what He wanted from me.  I remember getting this impression that He wanted everything.  I didn’t understand what that meant which made me more angry, because I felt like I had been giving Him everything I had.  But now I think I realize that He just wants me to trust Him, completely.  So I am working on that – complete trust in God. 

A lot of times I think that looks like not getting our way, not getting what we want, but there is always a greater plan.  God has a greater plan for each of us, are we open to His plan?  Today, be open to God’s plan for your life, even when it is dressed as a struggle and looks painful.  Please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.