Tag: #virtualmass

You Don’t Surprise God by Your Weaknesses.

Holy Week was a lot different this year.  With the shelter in place order in effect, all non-essential businesses closed, and no live services being offered; things have been really different.  To be honest, the first time I fully participated in Holy Week was in 2019.   It was in Connecticut.  My husband and I went to visit a friend during the Easter break.  He had never been there, and I had not seen my friend Rose in a while. 

While I had been embracing my faith and diving deeper into it, I had never participated in the Easter Triduum.  That all changed last year.  Rose took us to the Mass of the Lord’s Supper on Holy Thursday and the celebration of the Lord’s Passion and veneration of the cross on Good Friday.  It was an amazing experience and I had been looking forward to celebrating the Easter Triduum this year. 

But in mid-March, life as we know it, changed.  Everything closed down, everything was cancelled.  When they stopped religious services, my heart sank.  Fortunately, our Diocese began providing several outlets for daily mass. Most of the local parishes are celebrating virtual mass and Fr. Michael Gossett, our own high school  chaplain, celebrates mass daily on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube.  Our high school campus ministry efforts (in conjunction with our high school chaplain) have gone really gone the distance in providing avenues for both students and staff to stay connected with one another and share our faith.  Aside from daily mass, there are Ms. McManus Mondays which is a time of prayer, reflection, discussion, and music with Molly McManus,  the Campus Minister as well as Fr. Gossett Fridays which is a time of discussion, prayer and reflection with Fr. Michael. While those sessions are primarily for the students, faculty and staff typically join in as well.  They have also led virtual Stations of the Cross during Lent which involved students and staff and had a virtual Holy Hour complete with music and reflection.

Wednesday Adoration in the chapel at CCHS

Even with all of these outlets, sometimes it is difficult to make time for God, to practice your faith, to pray; because, well, things are different.  There are days that I don’t even get dressed until after lunch.  When you are working from home, you can work in your pajamas.  And while I have attended virtual daily mass with Fr. Gossett every day of the “shut down” (usually in pajamas);  I have gotten out of the habit of praying morning prayer and of reading the daily reflections.  It just wasn’t as convenient anymore, so I gradually stopped doing it.  I know that might not make sense, if anything you would think that one has more time for prayer during this pandemic.  But I am a creature of habit and I pray morning prayer and read the reflections before mass, while I am sitting in the chapel or church.  It was difficult to take that time or make that space for prayer when attending mass remotely. 

I have been reading quite a bit during our shelter in place.

Each day I told myself, I will start again tomorrow.  And each day I would fail.  I was embarrassed by weakness and my lack of commitment to pray in the morning before mass.  Then on Wednesday evening, April 8th, I tuned into the virtual Holy Hour.  It was during that Holy Hour, which was led by Ms. Molly McManus, I had a revelation.  As she began the Holy Hour she said, “You don’t surprise God by your weaknesses.”  I don’t think she has any idea just how much I needed to hear that. 

I had been feeling guilty about my lack of commitment, my lack of resolve, my ability to carve out space in the morning for prayer, about my overall weakness.  I had been wondering just what God thought about all of that, was He disappointed, or angry, or upset, or frustrated.  And then Molly (Ms. McManus) said that phrase, “You don’t surprise God by your weaknesses.” And I realized that God already knows all of my weaknesses, that He is not surprised, or disappointed, or angry, or upset, or frustrated.  Jesus died for me and you and as Fr. Michael reminds us often, Jesus would do it all again just for me (or just for you) if it was necessary.  Nothing surprises Him; and nothing changes His love for us. That is pretty amazing!

Moonlight behind the new fence my husband has constructed during the pandemic.

So today, don’t worry about surprising God, because you can’t. Be thankful for all of the good that has come out of the “different” in which we currently live.  And please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you. 

Lessons from Dogs

I have been reading the book The Fifth Mountain, by Paul Coelho.  There is a lot of wisdom packed into this book.  A passage that I read last night struck me: “A child can always teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.”  I read it before bed and pondered it as I fell asleep.  Each time I woke in the middle of the night, I contemplated it even more. 

Now some people might not fully understand this or appreciate this, but I am a dog person. Full blown dog person. We have rescued 4 dogs in the past six years, two of those dogs in the past 3 months. I have a t-shirt that reads “Dog Mom” (although I also have a 30-year-old son and an 18-year-old son). I have a mug that reads “I love dogs. It’s people that annoy me.” And I spend most of my free time with my pack. The two youngest dogs (Charlie and Bailey) sleep with my husband and me every night. I let them lick my face and crawl in my lap. Even Ruby, our largest dog at 55lbs, thinks she is lap dog. I will even share my beverages with them. I would rather drink after my dog than drink after another person (my husband and sons are the exception). They can get me muddy and I love to wrestle and cuddle them. When they get sick, I don’t become nearly a queasy (but I still don’t handle it all that well) as I do when a human in my house has the same problem. Therefore, I relate most things to my dogs and not to people.

Sleeping dogs…

When I read that passage, I immediately thought of my dogs. I know most people would reflect on children, not me. I’m not great with kids, nor do I really relate to them even though I have experience in raising them and being around them. But dogs – my dogs – have taught me the same things, especially in these uncertain times.

The events of the past few weeks have not phased them. They have adjusted quite well to the new normal of having humans with them all the time. They have found joy in spending time with their people, going for more walks than normal, getting bathed more frequently (thanks to the torrential rains and resulting mud we have experienced this past week), watching movies (I thought the dogs needed to see Bolt), and just generally living their best lives. They are the epitome of happiness. I am pretty sure the shelter in place order is their idea of paradise. They love their people, love being with their people, never tire of their people, and are just generally appreciative of spending time with their people, no mater the situation. Right there is a huge lesson we can learn from dogs – Appreciate the people in your lives.

My dogs are always busy with something, even if its sleeping.  They pack a lot into their days and help us pack a lot into ours as we all learn to navigate this new normal. The daily walks not only keep them busy and active, but also help us fill in our time and get some exercise and fresh air.  They get us outside to play ball in the yard.  When indoors they wrestle, play tug of war, and even keep the cats on their toes by playing with them (a combination of wrestling, tag and hide and seek).  They spend hours chewing, working on deer antlers or Nyla-bones.  But best of all, they know when their people need them.  When we need a break from the stress that inevitably sneaks into our days because of the strangeness that COVID-19 has brought into our lives; they nudge us for an ear rub, lay on our feet, lick our faces, or put their paws into our laps letting us know that everything will be ok – eventually. 

The dogs lying on my feet.

Lastly, the dogs make no bones about (no pun intended) letting us know exactly what they want or need. They each tell us when they need to go out. Eve (our oldest dog) has an internal alarm that lets her know when it is dinner time and when its time for her bed to made up for the evening (that’s another story). She proceeds to announce those times to our household daily. Ruby will let us know when she doesn’t have to go out and when she just wants to sleep. And she snores like a drunken sailor. She will reluctantly join the pack in regular outings only because she knows eventually, she will be forced to. Charlie tells us when he wants to play fetch and tug of war by bringing us toys. He’s like a little energizer bunny. Bailey lets us know when she needs some cuddles by putting her paws on your leg until you pick her up. If you are standing up, she will sit between your feet until she has your attention. And if we haven’t given them enough attention or spent enough time with them, they let us know by singing the song of their people or by just generally being persistent with nudges, playful growls, and happy barks. When all else fails, they climb – uninvited – into our laps.

I can’t help but think that maybe this is what God is doing right now.  Trying to get our attention.  Trying to get us to slow down and return our focus to Him. Trying to get us to re-order our priorities.  Many people have kicked Him out, haven’t made room or time for Him.  I think maybe He is trying desperately to get back into our lives. 

As odd as it sounds, there have been so many blessings in the midst of this chaos.  While I cannot attend daily mass like I normally would, I have been attending virtually with Fr. Michael Gossett.  He has celebrated mass everyday for the students, parents, faculty and staff of the Steubenville Catholic Schools (and anyone who wishes to attend).  That is a blessing in and of itself.   The bigger blessing is that my husband has been participating with me.  I have actually gotten to spend time with my 18-year-old son.  We have had dinner together nightly as a family.  We have also had movie night and a family Atari tournament.  We are talking more, reading more, praying more.  We are checking in more often on family and friends, and we are spending less time on the superficial meaningless things that have filled our lives.  Those are real, tangible blessings. 

Spicy Asian Chicken Lettuce Wraps for dinner

So today, lets learn from dogs how to be happy and how to stay busy within in all the turmoil.  And especially today, let’s give God the praise and the attention that He deserves.  Look for the blessings buried within the chaos and the confusion.  I promise you; they are there, and they are abundant.  Please continue to pray for all of those on the frontlines and in the trenches as we continue to battle the coronavirus pandemic as a community.  And please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.