Holy Week was a lot different this year. With the shelter in place order in effect, all non-essential businesses closed, and no live services being offered; things have been really different. To be honest, the first time I fully participated in Holy Week was in 2019. It was in Connecticut. My husband and I went to visit a friend during the Easter break. He had never been there, and I had not seen my friend Rose in a while.
While I had been embracing my faith and diving deeper into it, I had never participated in the Easter Triduum. That all changed last year. Rose took us to the Mass of the Lord’s Supper on Holy Thursday and the celebration of the Lord’s Passion and veneration of the cross on Good Friday. It was an amazing experience and I had been looking forward to celebrating the Easter Triduum this year.
But in mid-March, life as we know it, changed. Everything closed down, everything was cancelled. When they stopped religious services, my heart sank. Fortunately, our Diocese began providing several outlets for daily mass. Most of the local parishes are celebrating virtual mass and Fr. Michael Gossett, our own high school chaplain, celebrates mass daily on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube. Our high school campus ministry efforts (in conjunction with our high school chaplain) have gone really gone the distance in providing avenues for both students and staff to stay connected with one another and share our faith. Aside from daily mass, there are Ms. McManus Mondays which is a time of prayer, reflection, discussion, and music with Molly McManus, the Campus Minister as well as Fr. Gossett Fridays which is a time of discussion, prayer and reflection with Fr. Michael. While those sessions are primarily for the students, faculty and staff typically join in as well. They have also led virtual Stations of the Cross during Lent which involved students and staff and had a virtual Holy Hour complete with music and reflection.
Even with all of these outlets, sometimes it is difficult to make time for God, to practice your faith, to pray; because, well, things are different. There are days that I don’t even get dressed until after lunch. When you are working from home, you can work in your pajamas. And while I have attended virtual daily mass with Fr. Gossett every day of the “shut down” (usually in pajamas); I have gotten out of the habit of praying morning prayer and of reading the daily reflections. It just wasn’t as convenient anymore, so I gradually stopped doing it. I know that might not make sense, if anything you would think that one has more time for prayer during this pandemic. But I am a creature of habit and I pray morning prayer and read the reflections before mass, while I am sitting in the chapel or church. It was difficult to take that time or make that space for prayer when attending mass remotely.
Each day I told myself, I will start again tomorrow. And each day I would fail. I was embarrassed by weakness and my lack of commitment to pray in the morning before mass. Then on Wednesday evening, April 8th, I tuned into the virtual Holy Hour. It was during that Holy Hour, which was led by Ms. Molly McManus, I had a revelation. As she began the Holy Hour she said, “You don’t surprise God by your weaknesses.” I don’t think she has any idea just how much I needed to hear that.
I had been feeling guilty about my lack of commitment, my lack of resolve, my ability to carve out space in the morning for prayer, about my overall weakness. I had been wondering just what God thought about all of that, was He disappointed, or angry, or upset, or frustrated. And then Molly (Ms. McManus) said that phrase, “You don’t surprise God by your weaknesses.” And I realized that God already knows all of my weaknesses, that He is not surprised, or disappointed, or angry, or upset, or frustrated. Jesus died for me and you and as Fr. Michael reminds us often, Jesus would do it all again just for me (or just for you) if it was necessary. Nothing surprises Him; and nothing changes His love for us. That is pretty amazing!
So today, don’t worry about surprising God, because you can’t. Be thankful for all of the good that has come out of the “different” in which we currently live. And please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.
Tattoos, Motorcycles, Beer, Bourbon and Faith 