I attend Monday morning mass at monastery. There are these beautiful young trees that line the drive to Our Lady of Sorrow’s Monastery and Father of Mercy Chapel. Based on the shape of the leaf, I am guessing that they are some variety of maple. Each year, they turn the most glorious shade of fiery orange-red in the fall. When they are at their peak, it is quite a magnificent yet peaceful sight especially with the chapel in the distance.
However, I have noticed every single year that all of the trees shed all of their leaves except for one lone tree. This tree has always managed to hang on to almost all of its leaves. I find it amazing that all of the others have released the old growth, but this one tree still clings to its foliage, almost like a security blanket. Each year, leaves are nearly wholly intact, and still as gorgeous as ever as we approach mid November. For the life of me, I cannot figure out why this one particular tree does not drop it leaves as all of the other have. All of the others around it are bare.
As I drove up the long drive this morning, the cool autumn air pouring through my sun roof and open windows, I pondered this. Why this one tree? Why not the others? How did it hold on to most of its leaves, when all of the others are barren? What is it waiting for? When will it let go of its leaves? It just doesn’t seem natural. I ponder this very thing nearly every year, and every year it causes great consternation.
This one tree is a metaphor for life…for my life (and maybe for yours too). That one tree, holding on to its leaves, represents me. I tend I hold on to a lot, more than I probably should. Just two days ago marked 2 years since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. And while I am now cancer free, it is a date and memory that I continue hold onto. And it’s not the only thing that I hang on to, there are past offenses, rejections, relationships, frustrations, and the list goes on. I hold onto these things, almost like a security blanket, because who would I be without them? They define who I am. They are who I am, right?
Trees let go of their leaves to protect themselves, to care for themselves. Shedding leaves helps the tree to conserve water and energy. As unfavorable weather approaches, hormones in the tree triggers the process of abscission. Essentially, the leaves are actively cut-off of the tree. When the abscission process begins, the tree re-absorbs necessary nutrients from its leaves. These nutrients are stored for later use in the roots. Chlorophyll, the pigment that gives leaves their green color, is one of the first molecules to be broken down for its nutrients. This is one of the reasons why the trees change color during the fall. At the end of the abscission process, when the leaves have been shed, a protective layer of cells grows over the exposed area. The shedding of leaves also helps trees to pollinate come springtime. Without leaves to get in the way, wind-blown pollen can travel longer distances and reach more trees. So this “letting go” is essential for the tree’s health, life and continued growth.
Because of this tree, I have come to realize there are things of which I should really let go. Anger. Fear. Resentment. Mistakes. Past hurts. Bad decisions. Second guesses…everything that that is harmful, damaging or destructive. I tend hold on to all those things that are negative, and ruminate on them over and over again. But those things don’t define me. They may have influenced me, but they are not who I am. It reminds me of a quote I once read, “You are not defined by your mistakes; you are prepared by them. God doesn’t waste anything.”
We can learn a lot from nature and from trees. Just as the shedding of leaves is beneficial to the health, life and continued growth of the tree, so is the letting go of all that is negative in our lives. All of those things consume your thoughts and affect your peace.
So today, learn from those experiences, let them make you better than you were and then let them go. And remember, “You are not defined by your mistakes; you are prepared by them. God doesn’t waste anything.” And please pray from me and I will continue to pray for you.
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