Tag: #interactions

Did the Apostles Even Like Each Other?

Over the past few days, I have been pondering relationships. We have all kinds of relationships and interactions with people. There are our relationships with family members, friendships with classmates from our school days, interactions with co-workers, affiliations with people from our church, clubs, or organizations with which we are involved.

My husband and me at happy hour.

I really began pondering this after a work happy hour this past week. I think it’s because a lot of those interactions are superficial, I mean, how well do you really know your co-workers or how well do you really want to know your co-workers. Just because we spend most of our working time together in the same building doesn’t mean that we have an authentic relationship with somebody. In fact, it doesn’t even mean that we necessarily like or get along with that person.

I spend a lot of my time with my dogs because I don’t always “get” people

We have a pretty diverse group of faculty and staff in the school system where I work. I like that we get together as a staff on occasion and go to happy hour or gather at someone’s home for adult beverages and snacks in an effort to unwind and bond on a different level. But it really has got me thinking about our individual relationships and reflecting on Jesus and his apostles. The question that has been coming to my mind as I ponder our own group dynamic is “Did the apostles even like each other?”

I mean just because we all work together and share a number of the same issues doesn’t necessarily mean that we are all friends or even like each other on a more personal level. In a lot of instances, we are just co-workers, right? Is that how it was with the Apostles? I mean I am sure that there were conflicts and struggles and even personality differences among the apostles that caused riffs. There are those very same issues in any business setting. Were some people closer than others? Were some shunned because of their personalities? Were there close friendships? Was there gossip and bickering? Was there jealousy? Was there envy? I mean the apostles were men who had to deal with emotions and feelings and pride.

This is how I feel sometimes.

In Matthew 20:20-28, the mother of James and John ask Jesus for preferential treatment of her sons. Verse 24 states that “When the ten heard it, they were angry with the two brothers.” And Matthew was a tax collector. He took money from the Jewish people on behalf of the Roman empire. I am sure when Jesus brought him into the group there was grumbling about it. Why would Jesus want this dishonest man to be part of his entourage?

St. Matthew

Let’s not forget the apostle Judas Iscariot, he betrayed Jesus. And in John 12, Judas condemned Mary’s (sister of Lazarus) use of perfume to anoint Jesus’ feet indicating that it could have been sold and the money given to the poor. How do you think the other apostles felt about that?

The Betrayal of Jesus

Christ chose Peter to be the foundation of his church, but John was the disciple that “Jesus loved”. And Jesus took Peter, James, and John to witness the transfiguration. Was there jealousy and animosity among the disciples because of this? I am sure there had to be, they were human beings and human beings are fraught with insecurities and fears of inadequacy and not being wanted. I think most people feel like this at times. They wonder why some people might be included because of who they are or better yet, who we think they are.

St. Peter

So, I think the apostles dealt with the very same relational things that we deal with today. However, the apostles were called to love one another, despite their differences, despite their dislike, and to preach the gospel. And guess what, we are called to do the very same thing. To love one another, not just the people that we like or agree with or get along with. We are called to love one another, to pray for one another.

In fact, in Luke 6:27-28 we are told “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who abuse (mistreat) you.” In verses 32-36 it goes on to say; “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”

I guess I find some comfort in realizing that the apostles dealt with the same types of things we all deal with relationally. That they were not a perfect group of people who all loved and accepted one another, who didn’t bicker or argue. I bet there was even a little bit of contempt mixed in there at times. Kind of like life for most people. It is also reassuring that Christ chose them in their brokenness, in their sinfulness, in their contempt, in their selfishness, in their egoism, in their conceit. Because Christ chose them, we know that Christ chooses each of us.

We are not always going to “get along” or even “like” one another, but we are called to love one another. We are called to be kind and charitable and merciful. Let us remember that while the apostles were not perfect, God called them. And God calls each one of us. So today, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you.” And today, please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.

Worthy

“Depart from me, Lord, for I am a sinful man.” These are the words of Peter from the Thursday morning gospel and they likely ring true for each one of us. How many times have you not felt worthy of a relationship with God, not worthy of the love that He has for you? It is easy to feel that way, we are human. We struggle, we fail, we sin, we repent. And then, if you are anything like me, you do it all over again (and again, and again). How could God possibly love me, why would He want a relationship with me, a repeat sinner. How many times have I said, “Depart from me, Lord, for I am sinful.”? How many times have I pushed God away because of my transgressions?

But who were Jesus’ closest friends– outcasts, thieves, lawbreakers, delinquents, wrongdoers, in a word – sinners. These people were far from perfect, but that is exactly who God uses to build His kingdom, to spread the gospel and to share His love. I mean, Jesus chose Peter to be the founder of the modern church. Peter who was a married fisherman, who at times lacked faith, and who even denied knowing Christ – not once, not twice, but three times – in the moments prior to Jesus’ crucifixion. Yes, Peter was a sinner and Peter was the first Pope of the Catholic Church. Peter certainly didn’t feel worthy, but that didn’t matter. Christ chose Peter. God had greater plans for Peter than he could have ever imagined.

The reading from Thursday’s mass was from one of Paul’s letters to the Colossians. So let’s look at Paul, another sinner who was called by God for greater service. Prior to hearing God’s call, Paul persecuted the early followers of Christ. Paul sought out Christians. He encouraged the punishment of those who followed Jesus Christ and believed he was the Messiah. It is believed that he even supported the death penalty for Christians. Then he had his conversion on the road to Damascus. Talk about a sinful man, talk about not feeling worthy. This man decried Christ, denounced Christianity and persecuted those who followed Jesus. And God called him, God chose him. God had a greater plan for Paul.

I find it amazing, in the Bible alone, how God calls to sinners and makes them saints. How God uses people where they are to share His word, to spread His message, to build His kingdom. But I also find it amazing how God uses people today – everyday – to do the very same thing. Think about the people with whom you interact every day. Then think about the interactions that you have with them. Think about the little ways in which they are spreading the word of God. I bet it is in ways in which they don’t even realize. But if you take time to look at those interactions, I bet you will see God’s love for you and for others.

For example, I work in the Catholic Schools. When I tell you that our teachers and staff are selfless, I truly mean it. These are people to walking examples of Christ’s love. They don’t only teach the gospel, they live it. From taking time to help a student who is struggling with a particular subject, to checking up on co-workers, to spending time coaching, tutoring, and volunteering, to participating in mass, leading bible studies, or just sharing their faith with others. They are spreading the word of God with the Love of Christ.

And it is not limited to those who work in faith-based environments. It’s the server in the restaurant who makes that extra effort to make you feel special, or your son pouring a glass of juice for you when you wake up groggy in the middle of the night (yes, that is a real life experience, right there), or your spouse doing the dishes because you’re not feeling great (another real life experience), or your friend sending a text just to see how you are doing, or you Mom calling to tell you she loves you, or the neighbor bringing over fresh vegetables from their garden. It is all those random acts of kindness, those little moments where you can see Christ through the action of others, when others are being Christ to you.

While none of us may feel worthy of a relationship with God, or to be called by Christ, we are. God chose each of us. He sent his son to die for us. It is through Christ’s suffering and death that we are made worthy. God calls each of us to love (a direct quote from Fr. Tom’s homily), despite our sinfulness, or maybe because of our sinfulness. He has a greater plan for each of us. God wants us to share in the building of His kingdom, in spreading the gospel, in sharing His love. How are we going share and show that love to others? How are we going to be Christ for another person? Please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.