Tag: #personalities

Did the Apostles Even Like Each Other?

Over the past few days, I have been pondering relationships. We have all kinds of relationships and interactions with people. There are our relationships with family members, friendships with classmates from our school days, interactions with co-workers, affiliations with people from our church, clubs, or organizations with which we are involved.

My husband and me at happy hour.

I really began pondering this after a work happy hour this past week. I think it’s because a lot of those interactions are superficial, I mean, how well do you really know your co-workers or how well do you really want to know your co-workers. Just because we spend most of our working time together in the same building doesn’t mean that we have an authentic relationship with somebody. In fact, it doesn’t even mean that we necessarily like or get along with that person.

I spend a lot of my time with my dogs because I don’t always “get” people

We have a pretty diverse group of faculty and staff in the school system where I work. I like that we get together as a staff on occasion and go to happy hour or gather at someone’s home for adult beverages and snacks in an effort to unwind and bond on a different level. But it really has got me thinking about our individual relationships and reflecting on Jesus and his apostles. The question that has been coming to my mind as I ponder our own group dynamic is “Did the apostles even like each other?”

I mean just because we all work together and share a number of the same issues doesn’t necessarily mean that we are all friends or even like each other on a more personal level. In a lot of instances, we are just co-workers, right? Is that how it was with the Apostles? I mean I am sure that there were conflicts and struggles and even personality differences among the apostles that caused riffs. There are those very same issues in any business setting. Were some people closer than others? Were some shunned because of their personalities? Were there close friendships? Was there gossip and bickering? Was there jealousy? Was there envy? I mean the apostles were men who had to deal with emotions and feelings and pride.

This is how I feel sometimes.

In Matthew 20:20-28, the mother of James and John ask Jesus for preferential treatment of her sons. Verse 24 states that “When the ten heard it, they were angry with the two brothers.” And Matthew was a tax collector. He took money from the Jewish people on behalf of the Roman empire. I am sure when Jesus brought him into the group there was grumbling about it. Why would Jesus want this dishonest man to be part of his entourage?

St. Matthew

Let’s not forget the apostle Judas Iscariot, he betrayed Jesus. And in John 12, Judas condemned Mary’s (sister of Lazarus) use of perfume to anoint Jesus’ feet indicating that it could have been sold and the money given to the poor. How do you think the other apostles felt about that?

The Betrayal of Jesus

Christ chose Peter to be the foundation of his church, but John was the disciple that “Jesus loved”. And Jesus took Peter, James, and John to witness the transfiguration. Was there jealousy and animosity among the disciples because of this? I am sure there had to be, they were human beings and human beings are fraught with insecurities and fears of inadequacy and not being wanted. I think most people feel like this at times. They wonder why some people might be included because of who they are or better yet, who we think they are.

St. Peter

So, I think the apostles dealt with the very same relational things that we deal with today. However, the apostles were called to love one another, despite their differences, despite their dislike, and to preach the gospel. And guess what, we are called to do the very same thing. To love one another, not just the people that we like or agree with or get along with. We are called to love one another, to pray for one another.

In fact, in Luke 6:27-28 we are told “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who abuse (mistreat) you.” In verses 32-36 it goes on to say; “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.”

I guess I find some comfort in realizing that the apostles dealt with the same types of things we all deal with relationally. That they were not a perfect group of people who all loved and accepted one another, who didn’t bicker or argue. I bet there was even a little bit of contempt mixed in there at times. Kind of like life for most people. It is also reassuring that Christ chose them in their brokenness, in their sinfulness, in their contempt, in their selfishness, in their egoism, in their conceit. Because Christ chose them, we know that Christ chooses each of us.

We are not always going to “get along” or even “like” one another, but we are called to love one another. We are called to be kind and charitable and merciful. Let us remember that while the apostles were not perfect, God called them. And God calls each one of us. So today, “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you.” And today, please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.

Walking the Dog(s)

If you spend enough time with anyone, you can learn lot about them.  The same is true with your pets.  As you already know, I have been spending a lot of time with my dogs.  Because of the COVID-19 epidemic, I spend most of my time with my dogs these days. 

Yes, my family and I are sheltered in place.  But my son, while a full-time college student, is also an essential employee with his job at the local hardware store.  So he goes to work and he has been working a lot. When he is not at work, he is doing his on-line class work since the schools are effectively closed down for the year. 

My husband and I are both working remotely.  He is a teacher and I am an advancement professional.  While we see each other throughout the day, we are typically involved with work or other projects.  We are not spending all day, everyday together.  But the dogs and I are together – almost the entire day.  I am learning more about them, their personalities, their moods, their likes and dislikes, their schedule, etc. 

We go for daily walks.  In fact, we typically take our “lunch” hour going for our afternoon walk.  Eve and Charlie get the first walk.  It is normally a little bit longer because they both enjoy the walk and can handle it.  We typically do about 2.5 miles.  Ruby and Bailey get the second walk.  This one is a bit shorter because Ruby does not appreciate the vigorous walk that counterparts do, and well, Bailey is still very much a puppy at 4 months old.  Their walk is approximately 1.5 miles.  Lately, I have started taking Bailey and Charlie on an evening walk after dinner.  They are the youngest and seem to have the most energy, so I think that evening walk has been beneficial for both of them.

Resting after their walks

I am learning quite a bit about my dogs during these walks. The way they react to the prospect of the walk, their demeanor while walking, their attention to their surroundings, the pace of the walk, etc. 

Eve, our oldest dog at 6 ½ years, loves her walks.  We affectionately call her “Go Dog” because she simply will not stop.  As soon as I get her collar and leash, she gets excited.  And when I say excited, think puppy excited, to the point that she will sometimes bark, giving me a WooWooWoo.  She is a bit of spaz about it.  She prefers a quicker pace and would walk until she drops.  However, she is easily distracted by other dogs she encounters on our walks and regaining her attention can be a challenge.

Ruby, our second oldest dog is 3 ½ years old.  I truly believe she only goes on walks because she is afraid she might be missing out on something.  Therefore, we call her “Me Too”.  She is not really all that excited about the prospect of the walk.  She prefers that the walks be shorter, and she really just can’t wait to get back home so she can lie in sun or look out the window.  Ruby’s pace is all over the place from a very slow gait at the beginning of our walk, to a faster pace as we approach the end.  I swear she knows it’s almost over and just wants to be done with all of it. She is strong-willed yet easily distracted especially by noises and other dogs.  She will let you know where she wants to go, which is usually home.

Bailey, our nearly 4 month old puppy, is still learning the finer points of the walk.  While she loves the walk, I think she loves the exploring (her name at the rescue was Dora – The Explorer for good reason), she was not initially fond of having to get her collar on.  But now she handles that like a champ.  She prances when we walk and sometimes takes to little running bursts.  That must be the exuberance of her youth.  But being a puppy, she is easily distracted by sounds, sights, smells, basically everything.  She tries to stop frequently to smell something or look at something but is soon pulled along by her canine sibling.

Charlie, our 7 month old, is our only male dog.  He loves his walks.  My husband even says he walks best on the leash and that’s saying something.  You see, Charlie is truly my dog which you would know if you read my blog Love at First Sight. I think all the boys in my house might be a little jealous of Charlie.  But Charlie’s whole focus is the walk.  That is all he wants.  He is great about getting his collar on and waits patiently for me hook on the leash.  He is not much concerned with other dogs he might encounter, he couldn’t careless about people, and while he is constantly sniffing the air, he never stops once to investigate a scent.  He just walks at the perfect pace, right next to me and looks up lovingly at me, like each moment of that walk is the best moment of his life. 

Yes, I was reflecting on all of this while I was walking the dogs today, when Eve, Charlie and I snuck out in between rain showers and when Ruby, Bailey and I got caught in a spring shower on the way home.  I truly believe each dog gets something different out of the walk because of the way they approach it, enter into it and experience it.

As I was walking Charlie and Bailey this evening, I realized that our prayer life and our relationship with God is the same.  We each experience something different in our prayer lives and from our relationship with God based on how we approach it, how we enter into it, and how we experience it.  And it can be different every single day. 

If I enter into prayer preoccupied with or worried about other things, my relationship with God suffers.  Much like Eve’s walk suffers when she encounters and becomes anxious about other dogs, her walk is not as fulfilling because she is preoccupied by that dog.  If I feel hurried or rushed during prayer, just trying to get through it; again, I suffer because I am not getting the most out of that time with God.  Like Ruby rushing to get through the walk just to get home.  She is missing out on the joy of the actual walk just like I am missing out on the joy of spending time with God.  If I am distracted by things that I need to do, errands that I need to run or chores that I need handle, then my prayer life suffers.  Like Bailey, who although young, is missing out on the joy of the walk because of all of the distractions around her, vying for her attention that she just can’t seem to block out.  But when we enter into prayer with focus, with our relationship with God at the center, we can get the most out of that time.  Like Charlie, who is not concerned with everything else going on around him; whose only focus is that walk.  He is getting the most out of each and every step.

So today, let us not worry or be preoccupied with other thoughts, let us not rush or be hurried, let us not be distracted.  Today let us turn our entire focus on God, for just ten minutes, and see how much more we get out of that time of prayer and our relationship with God.  Please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.