I never imagined that at the age of 47, I would have so many doctors. I have primary care physician. That one makes sense, everybody should have a PCP. I have an OBY/GYN. That makes sense too, being a woman and all. But I also have an orthopedic surgeon, who I have seen far too often. I guess that’s because I am active and work out. I have had Achilles tendon surgery and have had to see him for shoulder and rotator cuff issues. Fortunately, I haven’t had to see him in a while. I have a podiatrist. Really at the age of 47 I need a foot doctor? I have one. I have a hand specialist too! I also have a cardiologist and a pulmonologist. Who knew that once I hit 45, I would have a need for all of these doctors.
Yesterday, I got to add another doctor to my ever growing list – well two actually. Yesterday was also my stepson’s 30th birthday, so it was kind of a big day. The 30th birthday, that’s kind of a turning point in everyone’s life. I mean at 30, you really are a full-fledged adult. So November 6th has always been a day that I remember. But yesterday, that date became a day that I will now remember for other reasons. November 6th was the day I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I got to add Oncologist and General/Breast Surgeon to my ever growing list of doctors.
Let’s just say that I didn’t think that I had breast cancer. I just haven’t really felt right the past several months, (since around March). Just kind of fatigued, short of breath, just not myself. That is how this journey began, with the PA/NP at my PCP, who referred me the cardiologist and things just progressed from there. It had absolutely nothing to do with my breasts!
I mean I had found a lump, just a few weeks ago but to me that was normal because I have fiber-cystic breasts. It really wasn’t a big deal. I have had lumps before. And I just had a mammogram at the end of April. The results were fine. Less than a week after I found the lump, I had a CT scan and there were some concerns when the results came back. And it was the PA/NP from the cardiologist’s office who had the greatest concern and ordered another mammogram and ultrasound. Those tests – the ultrasound in particular indicated an anomaly. They wanted to do a biopsy. Okay, this is just precautionary, better to be safe than sorry. That was done on Monday November 4th. I wasn’t supposed to get my results until tomorrow.
The PA/NP from cardiologist’s office is wonderful. She calls me after hours, texts me, and checks on me. She had asked me to check-in with her after the biopsy. Well, I didn’t check in with her until Tuesday evening. I wanted to let her know that it had been done and that I was sore and uncomfortable – it was worse the day after. We exchanged some texts. She has been very supportive and helpful and seems more like a friend that my health professional. She sent me a text later in the evening and asked me to stop in the office in the morning. Initially, I thought she just wanted to check the incision because I had kind of been complaining about it in our texts.
That wasn’t why she wanted to see me. She had gotten the pathology report about an hour or so after we exchanged our texts on Tuesday night. She didn’t want me to have to wait until Friday. She didn’t want me to have to endure the weekend without any answers. She wanted me to see an oncologist immediately and know exactly what I was facing and what my options were.
When she walked into the office, I knew immediately. To be honest, I actually sensed it the night before. Actually, I just had feeling about all of it, even before the mammogram, etc. I kind of knew when the CT results came back and they needed to run more tests. I guess I really knew I had cancer before I knew I had cancer. I just didn’t know what kind of cancer; and I certainly didn’t think it was breast cancer.
But I have breast cancer. And I have been talking to God about all of this, even before the diagnosis, trying to figure out what it is He is trying to show me or teach me through all of this. I think one thing is that I need to rely on Him and others more; to ask other people for help and not try to take this on all on my own. As my sister pointed out to me, she said, “I know you’re a private person…but you may need some help.” I am not great at asking for help or sharing anything that is personal or private – especially when it comes to how I feel. I know I have wonderful family who are there for me, not to mention an amazing husband and son who have been an incredible support over the past 24 hours. (my diagnosis is just over 24 hours old).
And while I have breast cancer, I also have my faith and God will give me the strength and the resources to get through this. He has already given me my family and my friends to support me. He has given me amazing health care professionals who have called to check on me and gone above and beyond to get me what I need. (The PA/NP from my PCP called me yesterday afternoon.) He has given me my TOR Sisters and my Crusader family who are praying for me. So, from where I stand, God has got me covered. No matter what lies ahead, I know something amazing will come out of this trial. Like my tattoo says “trust unto God and He will direct your path”. So today, please pray for me in a special way and I will continue to pray for you.
Tattoos, Motorcycles, Beer, Bourbon and Faith 