Tag: #complete

In my early twenties, I was convinced that I did not want to get married or have children.  I wanted to be independent, self-sufficient, and free of any entanglements.  I had too many interests, too many friends, and too many things that I wanted to do to be tied down. I was living life to its fullest without having to answer to anyone.  Essentially, I wanted to “play the field.”

In reality, I probably suffered a little from what is now known as FOMO – fear of missing out.  If I did not commit (to a person, to an invitation, to a position, to an event), I could do whatever I wanted without having to bend, give, or compromise.    There were no concessions, no negotiations, no arbitrations.  And if I didn’t like something, I could just move on to the next big thing.

I had convinced myself that I liked being alone, that this type of freedom was exactly what I wanted.  No commitments – to parties, to people, to activities, to anything.  My only real obligations at that time of my life were to work and the gym. 

I actually had a pretty serious relationship at that time…with my health club.  We met every day after work and would spend at least an hour together.  We would even get together on the weekends now and then for a couple of hours of running and weights.  I was so committed to working out that I planned almost everything else around that singular activity.  I could not meet my friends until I finished at the gym.  If somebody wanted to go to happy hour after work, I normally declined because I had to go work out.  Requests for dinner could only be arranged after I completed my fitness regimen. The health club was my church, my religion, my on-going relationship.

Now, that didn’t mean that I did not want relationships (platonic, friendly, or romantic) with people; I did.  But when that relationship got too demanding, I would bolt.  It was too much work, and I liked being able to do what I wanted to do, how I wanted to, and when I wanted to do it. 

I think we do this in our relationship with God, too.  We keep Him at arms distance because we don’t want to get too close.  Some of us don’t even want the accountability that living a Christian life brings with it.  So, we play the field.  We keep our options open so we can make the decisions that we want to make and do what we want to do at the risk of our very salvation. 

And God accepts us for who we are and where we are because He loves us unconditionally.  He wants a relationship with us, but He will not force it or impose Himself on us.  He does not mind if we “play the field.”  He lets us decide and He patiently waits until we get there.  That is the freedom He gives us.  That is the love He has for us.  And that is a pretty amazing kind of love. 

Looking back, maybe it wasn’t really playing the field at all. Maybe I was just being selfish. Maybe that is all playing the field really is, selfishness.  I know that I was selfish in my twenties, but I have worked through a lot of that to make space for what is important, like my prayer life and my relationship with God.  And I know that I am still selfish; it is just in different ways now and it is something that I continually work on.   

While I know I may never be perfect (far from it), I will keep trying to make personal improvements.  The Greek translation of perfect is whole or complete, not flawless.  As in Matthew 5:4, we are called to “strive to be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect.”  A relationship with God leads to that whole or completeness, it leads to that perfection that Matthew references.

So today, make space for God, share some of your time with Him.  You might be surprised by the peace that it brings you as you take one step closer to perfection.  And today, please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.