I have been thinking a lot about decisions this week and reflecting on a number of decisions that I have recently made. You see, I planned to begin this week with morning mass at the Monastery. However, when my alarm went off on Monday morning, I turned it off and went back to sleep. That was my first decision of the day, and maybe not a good decision.
When I woke up, at 6:30am, I figured I would simply miss mass and go straight into work. That is when I remembered the 8am mass at Blessed Sacrament. So I decided to go there. Normally, Mondays are Fr. Michael’s day off. But there he was saying mass that morning. This ended up being a good decision.
After work on Monday, I decided to mow the lawn. I decided to push mow it (because it’s a great work out). I push mowed the entire lawn (roughly 6.5 miles total). I was supposed to lift weights on Monday but decided that I probably should not after the lawn mowing work out. So I decided to shower and make dinner. After dinner, Todd and I decided to sit outside and read on the patio with the dogs and enjoy the cooler evening. As I sat outside, I began to feel the effects of mowing. While everything about Monday seemed to be me making good decisions, I began to wonder about my decision to take on the lawn alone (my son had offered to help) and not use the riding mower (I normally opt to leave it in the shed). Perhaps push mowing was not a good decision.
I continued to think about decisions throughout the week. Again, I had decided to attend the morning mass at the Monastery on Wednesday, because I had not been there all week. But as I debated the time of mass and the work I needed to accomplish before 11am that day, I decided that the 7am mass at Holy Rosary would be preferable.
As I was sitting in the silence praying morning prayer, Sr. Agnes Therese appeared. I had not seen her in several months. She is a good friend of mine with whom I had worked closely with at one time. Additionally, Fr. Tom’s homily, one about having faith in difficult moments, was one that I desperately needed to hear. So of course, I viewed this as another good decision, one that had a touch of divine intervention.
We make multiple decisions every day, throughout the entire day and often don’t put a whole lot of thought into those decisions. Many of them are trivial decisions, like deciding to mow the grass or which mass to attend. We make those decisions based on need or preference and little else. I can certainly say that I didn’t think out every possible scenario for morning mass options when I decided to go mass any morning this week. I certainly didn’t think about the possibility that I might run into a friend or that one of my favorite priests might be saying morning mass or that a homily would be so important. But that very decision to attend mass could have, and typically does have, a huge impact on my day.
What if I was unable to attend mass? What if I decided to not go to mass at all? What if I chose to use the riding mower? There are literally thousands of decisions that we make daily. What am I going to wear today? Should I ride my motorcycle to work? What should I eat for breakfast? When will I work out today? Should I call my friend? Should I visit my Mom? Should I ask my neighbor to go for a walk? Literally thousands – everyday – decisions that we don’t even realize we are making.
I know I have personally made a lot of bad decisions, made decisions that I have been unsure of, made decisions that I have questioned, made decisions that I didn’t even know I was making. But I have also made decisions after substantial prayer, and conversation with God. Serious decisions that require prayer, thought and introspection. I vacillate between quick knee-jerk decisions and prayerful decision-making.
And as I sat in mass each morning this week, I thought about those decisions. I thought about those decisions because Mondays gospel talked about how Jesus withdrew when he heard about the death of John the Baptist. (That was Jesus’ decision to “withdraw” and it was the crowd’s decision to follow him.)
So I went back and read Matthew Chapter 14. Herod made the decision to have John the Baptist beheaded, although Herod really didn’t want to have John beheaded. He had wanted to kill John because John told him he should not be sleeping with his brother’s wife, Herodias. However, Herod feared reprisals because John was regarded as a prophet. So he had John arrested and imprisoned.
Eventually, Herod made a decision to give the daughter of Herodias whatever she desired; she desired the head of John the Baptist. That “promise” he made, resulted in that decision to take John’s life because Herod certainly couldn’t renege. He made that statement at a birthday party in his honor, in front of distinguished guests and in front of Herodias and her daughter. Herod ultimately made the choice to behead John because he was worried about what everybody else would think if he didn’t up hold the “promise”.
Wow! How many times have we made decisions in the very same manner, worried about what others would think? I know I have, I am sure you have. So I reflected on that today and in that contemplation made an unconscious prayer to the Holy Spirit, asking Him to “Lead me, Guide me, to make those decisions that will draw me closer to Christ.” Just for the record, this type of prayer is atypical for me, but it reconfirms just how far my faith and prayer life have actually come. So today I encourage you to approach your decision-making from that same standpoint and ask, “Will this decision draw me closer to Christ?” And today, please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you
Tattoos, Motorcycles, Beer, Bourbon and Faith 