Tag: #roses

Unfortunately, I have been experiencing a period of spiritual dryness (I guess for lack of a better term). It has been difficult for me to get up in the mornings to walk the dogs, pray my morning rosary and Divine Mercy chaplet. I have been distracted during morning prayer, preoccupied when reading the reflections, unmotivated to attend daily mass (although I have not missed it), and unable to focus on the readings or the homilies. I find myself angry after the Sunday mass, and irritated by everything that transpires during the celebration. Needless to say, I am getting very little out of the Sunday service and don’t feel any closer to God when I attend. I guess I am just generally distracted and really don’t feel God’s presence in my life right now.

This morning, I awoke before my alarm and realized that was a sure sign that I should get out of bed, take the girls for a morning walk and pray. So I did that, as groggy and confused as I was at 4:45am. Because I woke so early, I was ready for mass/work earlier than normal, but didn’t even realize it until I pulled into the parking lot Holy Rosary Church. I was the only car in the lot. It was amazing, walking into the church, being the only one there. It was completely silent. I was completely alone with God. As I walked to my normal pew (yes, I am a creature of habit) and genuflected toward the tabernacle, it seemed like the chancel lamp (I never knew what is was called until I read a reflection that talked about it last week) flamed larger and brighter for a moment. I was like God was letting me know that He was there with me in that very moment.

I sat and prayed morning prayer, then read the reflections for the day in The Word Among Us and on Laudate app. I didn’t realize that today was the feast day of St. Therese of Lisieux. So I read about her in the Saint of Day and was struck by the first quote that was shared that is attributed to her. “For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.” Embracing both trial and joy. All I can say, is that was a “WOW” moment for me, particularly in the midst of my “spiritual dryness” and not having felt God’s presence lately. So I sat a reflected on that for a few moments, then decided to read the first excerpt in The Word Among Us, titled “I Thirst – Discovering a Deeper Connection in Prayer”.

Trust me when I say, the intersection of “spiritual dryness” and “I Thirst” is not lost to me. That title spoke to me immediately, because I haven’t really been feeling connected to God through prayer…not at all lately. I have been distracted and unfocused. And as I continued reading, it indicated that prayer is not always easy, that sometimes we will feel “dry or distracted or anxious.” Ok, God, you’ve got my attention. This is exactly how I have been feeling. It was like God was acknowledging my feelings and letting me know that He knows precisely what I have been experiencing!

So I kept on reading and just a few sentences farther, it refers to that “surge of the heart” from St. Therese. Okay, I’m a little more than overwhelmed by this. I sat and quietly reflected on all of this until mass began.

Now I know it’s the Feast of St. Therese, so I expected Fr. Ryan to talk about St. Therese in his homily. It would be remiss if he didn’t. What I didn’t expect was for him to use that exact same quote once again, “For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.” Embracing both trial and joy. So this is the third time in less than an hour that this quote has come up.

And when I got into school this morning, there were roses (roses are representative of St. Therese), dozens of them, sitting in vase in the vestibule of the building. Everyone was asked to take one to their office, classroom, etc. I did. God, You are coming in loud and clear.

So I guess that is the end of my spiritual dryness – maybe. Or maybe it is just a reminder that I need to embrace both trial and joy. Or maybe it’s just the reassurance that yes, I am struggling right now and God knows and understands and that’s okay. Maybe He is just letting me know He is here even in my dry seasons, even in my distraction and frustration, even when I can’t really feel His presence. Even right now, in this very moment.

God is with us in both trial and joy, in spiritual dryness and spiritual richness. Today, be aware of how God is showing His presence to you. Please pray for me and I will continue to pray for you.